Man, I'm so gonna be judge for this piece, but hear me out first.
Meet Jane. A straight As student in school and university, academic success had always been easy for her. She's quite active in with the right student communities too, the kind that gave her the right exposure, both in experience and also on the CV.
Then came the yearly pick for the most prestigious scholarship - the one that could pave a way to her furthering her studies, a PhD in an Ivy League university. For the sake of this story, let's just call it Oxford. This was super hard, because of all the thousand of applicants, only one will win it. The best of the best of the best.
And as the fates would have it, Jane won. Her parents, upon realising how big of a break this was for the family, decided not to let a little thing like her living expenses abroad to affect her focus. So, they sold off their house, moved into a rental unit, emptied their saving accounts, mom got some extra part time job in the evening , so that Jane get to live in UK for a few years as she partake this chapter of her life.
At Oxford, Jane met Mark, another fellow Malaysian pursuing the same doctorate studies too. They fell in deeply in love, and the moment they graduated and came back to Malaysia, they got married. Jane was already 6 weeks pregnant at that time, but she still got piles of job offers from the top companies in and outside her field.
Dr. Jane was really a success by all counts. Great education, great achievement, great job opportunities, great husband, and soon to be great mom.
Best part of all. She rejected all the job offers, and decided to be a housewife.
When I first heard that story, I'll be honest, I was judgemental and though I tried to hold back that thought, that word, I just couldn't do it.
Oh, what word? Wasted.
But before you start flagging this post, let me tell you why that word came up, and why it stuck, even until today.
And I mean no disrespect to housewives at all. Because both my parents had to work due to our financial situations when I was young, it was my aunts who took care of me, and they were proud home makers. Along with my cousins, I grew up in that environment - home cooked food, prepped to and for school, someone always at home when I return from tuition classes, being called in when it's dark even though we had to end whatever game I was playing prematurely. Usually that signified that my uncles will be home soon too, and dinner will be served.
Between the washing, ironing, cleaning, cooking, I knew I was fortunate to have their love and care.
So how are they different than Jane? My aunts did not get the opportunity to study, something common for folks from that period of time.
But that still doesn't explain the word - wasted. Because Jane did worked for the opportunity, and her parents worked hard for the opportunity. On a side note, it's just ironic that she never drew a single pay check.
No, I said "wasted" because I knew those who studied really hard to get that scholarship, those who came in second place. I knew many of them, who fought hard for the opportunities they were presented, but missed it by just a bit, a tiny inch. It could easily be an activity they did not join because they had to work part time, or a leadership role they couldn't take just so they could care for their sick parents.
That bit, that small gap, that inch that they clawed with their nails to get. It really hurts them sometimes to be so close, and not get what they wanted so badly.
So to those who came in second place, those who fought for that inch, they may think the same word too. I personally knew some who did.
"Dang! If you're gonna get that scholarship and all those amazing job offers, and just decide not to work a single day and become a housewife… wow. Just wow."
Now's your turn to judge me. Say something like "Hey Mav, its her decision. She fought the good fight, she won fair and square. She's entitled to do her decision. Sure, even if the scholarship is sponsored by the government, even if someone else could really use that stepping stone, even if her parents had to lose a house to afford her opportunity, it's still her choice."
Yeah, I agree.
But along with those with missed opportunities, those who came in second place, my decision remain the same - still a waste.
One of my Singaporean friends, May, asked me to look at the number of doctors and lawyers who did not practice their trade after graduating with degrees. I did not get the stats from her, but she quoted something like "out of 10 scholarship recipients, 5 will not practice as a lawyer or doctor for a single day". And it's not because they dropped out or anything. They graduated with flying colors - the kind which came with a brilliant letter of recommendations from the dean.
When May first told me that, I raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Why bother go to through something so difficult, did so well, and not do the job you studied for?"
"You have to understand, Mav, Singaporeans can be competitive at times. And upon finishing secondary school with flying colors, they would want to go for the next big thing, the next big Everest to scale, and sadly, the Everests comes with a few names like Doctor and Lawyer.
"Don't you get it, Maverick? It's just for the challenge. They never wanted to get their hands dirty with the blood of their patients, or defend the lives of the innocent. It's a game for them, and that scholarship, that dean's letter, that's the prize."
Boy, was I naive. Coming from a small town where we fought hard for a better life, to have that chance to prove our worth in the corporate or entrepreneurial world, I just had to shook my head at the Janes of the world.
Even now, as I see Jane dropping off her 10 year old Hanna, I'd question, what would she say to her darling daughter?
"Study hard, be a good student, so that one day you will win a prestigious scholarship to a prestigious university, marry a capable husband there, and be a housewife like mommy? Oh, and don't forget to show your teacher the painting you did over the weekend, sweetie."
Oh yeah, don't worry about Hanna's grandparents. They had moved out of the rental unit years ago and are living together with Jane and Mark now. Proud parents they are, their focus now is to encourage Jane's younger sister, Lucy, to find a "Mark" too, so she can checks out and be a full-time mom.
That was their final advice before sending her off to Harvard on another prestigious scholarship.
Wait, why's Mav posting on Steemit nowadays?
Well, unlike other blogging and social media platform, Steemit is the only platform that allows me to earn cryptocurrency when I engage with it. Yup, one Steem is about USD7, and you, too, can earn Steem Dollars every time you:
- Create content (articles, blog posts, podcasts, videos, photos)
- Upvote (like) other people contents
- Comment on other people's posts
- Have discussions, share opinions etc!
Yup, basically it's the very same thing you're doing on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc all along!
The only difference? For once you can earn a nice income on the side!
Sign up for a free Steemit account, and you can thank me by coming back and upvoting this article. And guess what, you will earn Steem too for doing that! #awesome
