I had three dates some time ago. Three U.S. veterans who weren't actually dates at all, but who joined me for dinner at an Italian restaurant as the final session of our four week class. The class was called "Writing After War," and it taught me a lot about war, but it taught me more about people.
My main teaching focus is on the safe release of traumatic stories for personal recovery. I believe in the redemptive power of words at the individual level, but I also believe that power exists on a universal level. I love working with veterans for many reasons, but the main drive for me is education. Yes, I am teaching veterans how to release their stories, but the education I refer to here is for the world.
Most of us have no idea what it is like to be trained to follow orders, to follow orders, to later wonder about those orders, to later question the basis of good and right and yes and safe and hero or to have it questioned for you.
Veterans who want to write do all of that. They honor their stories, their peers' stories, and they humble themselves, reaching deeply into their own humanity in a way those of us who have never experienced war or active duty cannot understand. Because we have not come to the edges of our humanity. Because that is not the type of warrior we needed to be to survive.
We are warriors and survivors, yes, but of all different kinds.
Through working with veterans, I learned that they want the same three things other survivors want:
To be heard.
Not just listened to or humored. Heard. Witnessed. Seen.
To be believed.
Even if their experiences feel far from real to you. Trust them.
To receive compassion.
They are still fighting their own battles. They don't need your judgment. Withhold it whatever your feelings on war and hold space for these human beings who are very often still surviving after having survived.
Are you a veteran? If you'd like to write, please connect with me about private coaching. I'd be honored to support you in releasing your stories. Email shawna dot ainslie at gmail dot com.
image from pixabay.com
