Do you know the difference between those two? There is a big misconception that wounds and scars are the same and should be treated equally, this couldn't be farther from the truth, they are actually completely different things and if you want to learn a little bit about it, you have come to the right place.
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WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE?
Think of an actual physical wound, let's say you have cut yourself while cooking your favorite meal and now there is blood dripping from your hand. This hurts, looks bad and is a health danger; it could get infected and you can get sick really bad. What do you? You tend to the wound, wash it up, sterilize it, maybe even stitch it up (you should probably go to the doctor for this one) and put a bandage over it. The wound still hurts a little, but at least now you're safe and out of danger. In time your wound will turn into a scar that will become a part of your body and in even more time people will ask you "How did you get that scar?" and you will respond that you were not paying enough attention while cooking, have hurt yourself and learned your lesson, you have a reminder of that lesson. Are you beginning to see where I'm going with this?
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Well, the same can be said for emotional wounds and scars. If you are able to look at a bad experience you have had and talk about it openly, if you have learned something from it and are now stronger because of it, you have a scar, not a wound. That scar is only a reminder and it has an educational purpose, you can think of it as a guide of yours and even a friend. The journey from a wound to scar can seem difficult, well... Not seem, it IS difficult, but the rewards from it make it worth your while. Having a scar does not hurt and does not bother you in any way, it actually benefits you.
HEALING YOUR EMOTIONAL WOUNDS
There are steps here for you to take just like there are steps when you cut your finger. Follow them and you will be fine in no time, be persistent and don't give up. The length of your healing process depends on you and you alone. For some, it will go quicker and for some slower. Don't compare yourself to others and take care of yourself in a way and for as long as you need it.
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1. DO NOT TRY TO DENY YOUR EMOTIONS
For all you logical persons out there, I know you, I see you, I am one of you and believe me when I say; the more you push your emotions away and deny them, the more they will cling to you or come back and bite you in the a** :)
Emotions are not your weakness, they are your strength. How do you plan to get better if you do not accept that you are not good right now? Isn't that silly?
Allow your emotions to be free hower uncomfortable they may be and acknowledge them. Grant them the respect they deserve. You have a natural ability to let go of emotions but only after you have acknowledged them, there are no shortcuts here. To be free of them, you first have to accept them. This is the first and the hardest step.
2. FEEL YOUR PHYSICAL BODY
Emotions are tricky, they are created in the mind but are not thoughts so you do not think them, you feel them. While feeling them you go back to your mind and think. Try not to do that in this step. You will have to fight the need to create stories in your head, you know... those stories where you are the victim... We all make them. I am not saying someone hasn't hurt you but you will not benefit from blaming someone or something for your emotional pain, that will only magnify it. Concentrate on your body instead.
Maybe you are experiencing shortness of breath, body boiling inside, numbness in your limbs or something else, deal with that first. Try to relax and tend to your body. If you are sleepy, go to sleep, if you are hungry eat... Listen to what your body is saying to you.
3. TAKE RESPONSABILTY
Responsibility and blame are not the same things. We often blame our selfs and start our days thinking: "If I haven't had done that then this wouldn't have happened." This kind of thinking only suppresses your anger and gets you deeper into depression. Anger is good! Be angry! Anger is a short emotion, when you are done with it you can move on to accepting yourself and your mistakes or situations you have been in. Take responsibility for your life and move on forward, there is no benefit from beating yourself up.
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4. DON'T BE ASHAMED TO ASK FOR HELP
People are often ashamed to ask for help because they think it will make them seem weak and little. Noone likes to be judged but you will get so much from others. Other people can give us different perspectives or maybe even solutions. If you think "no one understands me", make them understand you. Talk to people. Seek professional help. There are a lot of different therapists out there who are able to deal with everything you bring to the table. Do you want to suffer and stay in your current state or do you want to be better?
5. SELF-COMPASION
Try to look at yourself from a third person perspective, this will help. People often identify with their pain and forget that they are so much more. You are not your pain, you are experiencing pain. Love yourself and be compassionate, it will take you out of the victim role and into a creator one.
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6. ACCEPTANCE IS A SIGN OF A SCAR FORMING
When you have accepted your past and are at ease with it you are able to talk about it with others. Now you are ready to start learning from your experience, now you are ready to grow and change yourself for the better. How do you know if you have a wound or a scar? If you can take a look back to the past and not have any intense emotions, you are doing great, you are carrying scars and not wounds.
YOU ARE A DIVINE BEING, PERFECT IN EVERY WAY
You are amazing and capable of so many things. You have worth as a human being and you are special. You deserve love from others and you deserve love from yourself. Be kind to yourself and treat yourself with the same respect as you would treat a God. You are a valuable piece of energy in the Universe and you are irreplaceable.
YOU ARE LOVED!
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