I can't be bothered to edit this just yet, but it's raw and honest so I thought I'd send it. It might not make any sense, but it's off my chest.
I'll edit it in the next few days with images etc.
All text above was added afterwards. Eulerian graph was drawn out as the premise of this idea then away I went.
Spit it out
I'd just like to start off by saying that I am enjoying my time here on Steemit massively. I started my account back in December 2017 and I didn't properly start to get active until mid-way through January. It's been an experience to say the least and my appreciation for people has sky-rocketed. There is something monumental about receiving honest and genuine feedback from people so you can improve yourself.
I have worked as a tradesman for a few years now, going on a decade and I always told myself that woodwork was my destiny. I was hell-bent on becoming a master furniture maker and it just ends up sending me west. I pigeonholed myself and sent myself loopy while I was away from my friends and family.
If you have ever heard of your eulerian destiny, you will understand the concept that every person has a certain path that they have somewhat cemented into their subconscious. This path is adaptable and in an ever-changing world it's necessary to adapt and change your approach; don't get bogged down in what you should do. Mix it up.
Eulerian destiny
For those of you who aren't aware of the concept, I will explain it briefly with an amateur digital drawing which has been created due to every other picture being copyrighted. To add to the conversation, this concept was brought to my attention by some dude who hangs out in his garage with all his fancy cars.
The concept is that your destiny (the center of the graph), is constructed somewhat of the contents of the 4 individual circles. They all overlap and they play, in some part, to your destiny. This being your career, your ideal lifestyle or whatever you relate to being the destiny of your life.
I don't really care too much for the concept, it's cool but I just try to live my life without trying to control the aspects of my destiny (well at least I do now, maybe that's the secret?). The reason for bringing it up is because I find it odd how it relates to my past and how it's determining some of my choices right now.
Misconceptions
Although I managed to drift into the love for woodworking in my late twenties, maybe because I was intrigued and impressed by one of my family members workshops, I eventually lost the passion for it because of the associations I linked to it.
The work I did was bespoke and somewhat prestige, but it sucked the soul out of me. This could have been the workshop environment and the situation of being away from home but nevertheless, all intrinsic motivation was gone.
It's not that I didn't do well, I managed to place 2nd in the UK in the national heats. This could have been because of the modafinil I took or maybe because I just turned up to the day ready to roll, regardless; I wasn't bad.
On the Eulerian graph, I would have ticked off the 'stranger feedback' elements and the 'past 10 years'.
Like I said before, I pigeonholed myself into this career and I ended up sending myself crazy because I thought that was what I had to do. I walked away from this not to long ago and I still do the odd work for friends and family because it's fairly straightforward stuff.
So what's the point here?
What did I grow up around?
When I was a young guy, like really young, between the ages of 5-10. I would always say to my mum, family or anyone who asked; "What do you want to be when you grow up?" - I want to be an author or illustrator.
It's funny because I can't remember when I forgot about that. It just drifted off and the world sped up. You become a teenager and at least in my timeline, I had my anarchistic ways where I didn't give a toss about what was going on around me. I just lived and fucked about.
As I grew up and the question of; "What are you going to do when you leave school?" arose, I didn't really know. I was going to go to college and learn about music but I changed my mind at the last minut and decided to work with a family member fitting windows and doing certain elements of joinery. Eventually, ending up in the apprenticeship route.
It fizzled out after a couple of years and I ended up devolving into drugs and repeating some part of history where I didn't give a toss about the world around me again. The morals and respect weren't strong with me back then but I never did any real harm. Just expanded my mind I guess.
Then I moved back to the apprenticeship thing again. Yeah, I had done it already. But I moved out the country so I had to do it again (I know, total bullshit). 3 years later and 3 months away from finishing my apprenticeship I said fuck it, this isn't making me happy.
Life somewhat exploded and although there is underlying anxieties about various things, I've never been happier with where I am right now.
Why?
I can't completely understand why just yet, that will take time to work out. When I started to write and express myself honestly without lying to myself, I found that the pieces of mind started to line up. Almost as if there was a reason why I am doing what Im doing.
If you know me you'll know I started up BuddyUP, I just wanted to make something different. Try and bring together something that would help us to all improve better. I did it to bring people together first and foremost, I did it so that people could make genuine connections. It has evolved into so much more as I've shaped and moulded it into a place that people can grow in, it's got a much higher purpose than me. I'm just a speck among these people currently in here.
So how does my eulerian destiny look now?
Well... I grew up wanting to be an author. For the last 5-8 years I've learned what I can about self-improvement and human psychology and relations (and yeah, I don't have any degree or any of that bs), I've gained great feedback from people across this platform in the past few months and if you know me, I can talk about this all effortlessly. I can write about it effortlessly.
Is this my destiny?
Probably not. The world constantly changes and you can't tie yourself down to one thing.
What I do know though... right now, it's powerful. It's effortless. It's a part of me.