Miss. Opinionated : Technology Ruins Romance.

Technology makes things convenient

But convenience doesn't always mean better.

Back in the old days, chasing after a girl required the utmost bravery. Should you have passed the first hurdle of procuring the ladies' number (which itself took more bravery than you thought you had). The second hurdle of actually making the call to ask her out would have been and act of bravery worth writing to Mel Gibson about.

Nowadays, Smartphones have changed the landscape of the dating game. There are many more opportunities to avoid embarrassment as well as test the waters. For instance, text messaging through SMS or Whatsapp, you can have a casual chat to see how interested the other party is before asking them out. And just like that, the daunting phone call becomes a thing of the past.

Somehow, with the advent of these new technologies and apps, why does it seem that people are becoming more detached, lazy and more impersonal?

Lets take a look at some examples of how things used to be, compared to how they are now.

To Call or Not to Call?

The coveted phone call

..The typical response

By no fault of the lady, she probably isn't going to remember who you are unless you made some stellar impression when you first got her number. After all, she's potentially a Miss. Busy and might have a number of other guys calling her too. Besides, giving undivided attention over the phone? That's asking a bit much for the multi-tasking modern woman.

The way of the smart phone

A casual text message is all that seems to be required nowadays. How boring. How lazy.
The man gets away without plucking up the courage to call her and speak over the phone, and the girl can decide in her own time whether she's interested or not. It's more convenient for everyone.

Me? I still prefer that sacred phone call. There's something about a nervous guy fumbling over his words and taking that extra step to make the call that just can't be substituted by text messaging.

I like awkward silences.

The time before everyone on the planet shared everything about themselves over the internet (i.e. pre-facebook)

Once upon a time, knowing a lot about someone you didn't know would have been considered stalking. And that's why, before the dawn of stalker friendly social networks like Facebook, people had to use real life people skills to land them a date. Admittedly, success rates were probably lower, advances were less flattering but they were at the very least, genuine.

Enter facebook, and the age of volunteered withdrawal of privacy

Facebook stalking is an accepted and sometimes welcomed practice. It shows the man's commitment to finding out everything he can about you. Girls will take his stalker-ish behaviour as a sign of doing his homework, an act of endearment. Suddenly, it seems he has the right answer to everything.. but at what cost?

To many, Facebook is a welcome tool to allow two people to get to know each other through mutual stalking before they decide on engaging in further dialogue or courtship. But what it takes away, is the opportunity to discover these things about each other, through real interaction with each other.

Yes, you may score a date because you took a shortcut in finding out she likes sushi instead of steak. But does that make the man who plucked the courage ask you out for steak any less of a man who stalked your profile? In my opinion, no.

Pre-Tinder Pick-up artistry

The nightclub or bar used to be a popular place to meet a potential partner. Girls would idle at the bar looking like they're waiting for someone, and guys would make their advance often offering to buy the girl a drink.

Girls would often dress suggestively and yet be offended by prying eyes. This is of course unless she likes the guy, in which case, the guy may buy her a drink and she'll pretend you're not staring inappropriately.

Meeting people in a public venue seems to be becoming less popular as dating apps are becoming more and more prevalent.
Once upon a time, meeting someone online seemed like a dangerous and unorthodox method of making friends, it was even frowned upon, after all, how could you know whether the person on the other side of the screen is who they say they are? How do you know if their pictures are of themselves?

That is of course until everyone started using smart phones, and on their smart phones, accessing these "fun" dating apps. No doubt, whilst the taboo of meeting people from online persisted, those very people that perpetuated that taboo were secretly swiping away and probably having more conversations with strangers than ever before.

Swipe Left, Swipe Right

At first, the "invention" of dating apps like Tinder, Grindr, Blendr (and the list goes on), would seem like liberation to single people. Now, the pick-up artist of a man can save money on getting tipsy before approaching a girl at the bar, and the girl can now avoid undesirable encounters with a simple swipe to the left. Both parties can now get away with posting flattering pictures of themselves for consideration.

The problem is, these apps put so much emphasis on looks that it can often back fire. You really cannot tell whether those pictures of the "hottie" are real or not. Remember, before tinder, there was also photoshop.

Before

After

科技的发展给社会带来很多好处, 互联网方便了每个人的生活,智能手机让大家手里随时有个小电脑。但是科技的发展也在社交上带来一些副作用，人们因为网络带来的便利而变得更懒惰,情侣交往初期更陌生,我们来看一些例子。以前的男人要约女孩出来就要鼓出勇气打电话,并在电话中面对有可能被拒绝,现在简单发微信就可以轻松试探一下水温了。只要女生的回应不错就代表有机会,避免在电话中被拒绝的尴尬,其实这是不好的，因为会引起男人变懒惰。微信没有办法显示出男人的诚意,在社交网站普遍之前，要到女生的联络方式很困难。因为女生都有厚厚的防御心墙，但是现在有了社交网站，就允许男人去做事先的准备和功课，从而去更加理解女目标。以前的人比较注重隐私,现在的人就很乐意把生活的一切都发到网路上,现在要了解女生很简单去看她的微博朋友圈就好了。现在有各种交友软件，开始改变人类交友的方式，越来越多人开始用手机软件交友,为什么呢？因为可以省钱并省麻烦，也可以排除你与不想认识的人接触,可是这些软件太重视外貌协会,照片经常不准,甚至有不少骗子,记得科技也给我们带来PS这个好工具。