Ever have a friend that slides into your life off a rainbow? Ever feel immensely grateful to that person for showing up when they did only to later discover they spent your friendship manipulating you to make themselves look better?
I am talking about my over and done ex-friend here. They exhausted me. Fully depleted me. Today I feel angry at the incredible lengths they went to in cultivating a one-sided relationship with me in order to sap me dry. I overcommitted. It is a weakness of mine. I love incredibly hard. I am an open heart. This person came in and took it all.
This happened every year when I was a child. I grew up resolute to set clear and firm boundaries to protect myself from emotional vampires. It has been years since I have succumbed to one's hypnotism. All the signs were there. My life ground to a halt and began to revolve around theirs. I was going to be the best best friend in the history of ever. Maybe I was.
For sure, they were the worst best friend in the history of ever.
How I am feeling.
I am angry at this person for hurting me and choosing to view their continued transgressions (yes, they are still contacting and attempting to manipulate me daily) as acts of a "concerned friend." They see themself as having done nothing wrong. They see me as overreacting. I am not overreacting. I am angry at myself for ignoring my screaming intuition to protect myself even as I have worked to protect others from being harmed by this person.
What I am trying to do is stay positive. Today, however, I am going to give myself a break and stay with this fury. It is important to recognize all aspects of this process. This anger will fuel my personal evolution.
If you are out and about and you see a girl with fire for a face, please do not douse me. I need to burn for awhile before I can get back to my regularly scheduled positivity. If you have some suggestions for surviving the flames, please let me know.