There are all these rules that we were born into and somehow, the forces have been binding on us whether we accept it or not, whether it aligns with our true nature or not. One of these rules is the one binding on men and women in sexual relationships. This rule is known as monogamy. It states that a male and female human being must be dedicated to one sexual partner during the period of the relationship. As much as this rule seem like a noble idea, I think it is unfair and infringing on the rights of human beings who are inherently free moral agents. Why should any one person or group of persons, sit at a corner of their desk and mull over such an idea and then impose it on others as the perfect rule of engagement for sexual partners?
I find it ridiculous.
Researches show some ethnographic evidence that suggest that human nature is adapted to an ancestral mating system that was predominately polygamous (one husband, multiple wives). Women were even more comfortable being the co-wife of a strong man than be the sole wife of a second rated man. This explains to a satisfactory level that man- male and female- were not born with the innate desire to be monogamous. These findings also reveal that monogamy is an imported idea that gained significance through modern religion, civilization and evolution. It was not so from the beginning of time. In fact, social monogamy in humans dates back to just about 1000 years ago which makes it a relatively new idea compared to the number of years anthropologists say humans have been in existence on planet earth. This means that, not everyone human has evolved into the reality of monogamy as a social norm. Why then should it be forced down our throats?
Personally, I believe that monogamy is one big lie and at best, an attempt by man to try to control nature. I would not have any argument with this societal arrangement, if only people, those who cannot keep up with this lie are given the option of handling their sexual relationships on their own terms instead of forcing us all to abide by rules that run contrary to our very nature without having to deal with the turned up noses of society. I know there are people who are born polygamous in nature- I for one think I am a member of that population. These people would forever keep struggling to hold a monogamous relationship together because it has been made the standard.
Just like gays have a right to express love to whom they choose, I am of the opinion that people who do not find monogamy part of an ideal relationship goal, be allowed to set the rules that suites them as long as it’s an agreement between both partners and they both are comfortable and happy in it. Nobody should be made to conform to society’s expectations of faithfulness.
I strongly advocate for polyamory – the practice of having more than one sexual partner with the knowledge and consent of all sexual partners. I believe it is the answer to sexual partners having to deal with cheating and unnecessary heartbreaks that come with discovering ones monogamous relationship has been a sham all along.
However, human monogamy will forever remain what it is- a LIE!
