Four Generations of Silence--How I Solved a Long-Standing Family Mystery with DNA

No one ever wanted to talk about my paternal grandfather's background. Not even him. When I was young, I heard whisperings from older relatives that he was an illegitimate child, and his biological father was unknown. But, that was the extent of it. Nobody ever said anything more, probably because they didn't know any more.

I became extremely interested in genealogy when I was 18. In fact, it became my passion and obsession, so much so that I ended up being interviewed in an Ancestry.com infomercial fifteen years later, and appeared in a national magazine, talking about my ancestors. 

Those were cool things, and I've traced a lot of my family lines back into deep antiquity. Some of my ancestors are even famous. But, there are still some lines that are just plain mysterious, and my grandfather's paternal line was one of them for a long time.

The Main Obstacle--My Grandfather REALLY Didn't Want to Talk About Family History

When I first got interested in genealogy, my grandfather was still alive. The first thing any beginning genealogist does is talk to their oldest relatives to get their stories and see what they know about their ancestry.

I went through the rounds of elderly relatives available to me, even trying to get any tiny bit of information I could out of my great-grandmother, who had dementia by that time (she remembered her grandparents, but couldn't tell me their names....I got those on my own later). Most relatives were remarkably forthcoming, and happy to talk about family history, especially the people they knew in their childhoods.

My grandfather was the exception.

He was eager for me to talk to his eldest daughter on the phone....my dad's half-sister, who I'd never met...during one of my visits to him. But, he had no interest in talking about his childhood whatsoever. All he said was if I wanted to know about his mother's family, I could talk to one of his cousins who had done some research on them.

I got no childhood stories from him. Nothing.

The only stories about his childhood I ever got were from his younger sister, after he died.

There was a tale told, again in hushed, secretive tones, that one of his nieces asked him about a year before he died if he ever found out who his "real" father was. Apparently, he stormed out of the room and refused to speak to her again.

The Evidence (aka Piecing Together My Grandfather's Early History)

Now, one of the first things you find out when you start doing genealogy is most family legends are not true. Or, they are mostly untrue, with just a small kernel of truth hidden deep within them. 

That's why I didn't really believe the stories of my grandfather's illegitimacy at first. I'd already disproven other family legends. I thought this would just be another one of them that someone made up to hide something else. My guess was my grandfather's mother was pregnant with him before she married his dad, and that would be the truth of the story.

Once I started looking into it, though, it quickly became apparent that this particular family mystery had some weight to it.

Things I discovered that pointed to my grandfather actually having an unknown biological father included:

His "father"'s will--It didn't mention my grandfather AT ALL. Everything was left to my grandfather's sister and one of her daughters. My grandfather always said he was left the family house in that will and sold it to his sister, but the actual will said differently....it was given to his sister.

The 1910 U.S. Federal Census--This was taken in April of 1910, at a time when my grandfather's mother would have been five months pregnant with him. She was in the census, single, and working as a servant for a family a few towns away from where her own family lived. She was definitely unmarried and pregnant.

The 1920 U.S. Federal Census--My grandfather would have been about 10 years old in this one, and should have appeared in it. But, he didn't. His mother, purported father, and sister were all in it, but his name was conspicuously missing. He wasn't in anyone else's household, either (I looked). Someone deliberately didn't mention him.

His mother's marriage record--His sister said she didn't know her parents' marriage date, which seemed odd to me. When I found the record myself, I discovered my grandfather's mother didn't marry the man who would raise my grandfather, and whose surname he would take, until my grandfather was nearly five years old.

My grandfather's birth certificate--It took a while to track this one down, because I'd always been told he was born in Wilmington, Delaware. But, since his mother was from Chester County, Pennsylvania, I thought it was smart to look there. I hit the jackpot on the birth certificate....he was born in the town in Chester County where his mother grew up. 

His mother's name, using her maiden name, was listed on the certificate. The father's name was left blank. Interestingly, his name was listed with the surname of the man his mother married five years later, and who raised him. I didn't know if that was because that was his true father, or if his mother changed his legal last name later.

The Pennsylvania state birth registry--The registry of births for 1910 in Pennsylvania didn't become available until just this year. I checked it and found my grandfather on it, and, as I suspected, he was born with his mother's maiden name as his surname. His surname WAS changed later.

Time to Bring in the DNA

Okay. By this point, it was OBVIOUS this was a family story that was actually true. The man who raised my grandfather, and whose surname he took, was NOT his biological father. All of the evidence pointed to it. There was also the fact that relatives said he didn't have a good relationship with the man he called "dad," and moved away from him as soon as he could. 

There was still a chance his biological dad was the dad who raised him, but his mother didn't marry him until much later. However, I didn't think this was likely.

I asked my dad to provide a sample of DNA for a Y-DNA study. He readily agreed, as, unlike his father (my grandfather), he was interested in knowing the truth.

Y-DNA, for those who don't know, is handed down ONLY on the male line. It is a father-to-son DNA, and females do not inherit it. Using Y-DNA is an excellent way to trace a paternal line.

I could have used my brother for the Y-DNA sample, too, if my dad hadn't wanted to do it, since he's part of the same male line.

There's an mtDNA test that shows you your maternal line. This type of DNA is passed down to both sons and daughters. Y-DNA is unique in that it is only passed down to sons. It is this property that made it exactly what I needed to crack this mystery open.

The Results--How DNA Reveals What's NOT in the Records

My grandfather's mother apparently never told anyone who his biological father was....probably not even him. He certainly didn't seem to know, or care. There was no name of a father anywhere in the records of my grandfather's early life. Without DNA, it would be a mystery his mother would have been able to keep hidden forever from future generations.

When the Y-DNA results came in, I immediately looked for matches, and found an almost exact one right away. With what little information was available on the matching family in the DNA database, I determined the family whose Y-DNA almost perfectly matched my dad's came from Chester County, Pennsylvania....the same county and same state where my grandfather's mother grew up, and where my grandfather was born.

I used the Ancestry.com Y-DNA test, which they no longer offer. You can still get a Y-DNA test done on Family Tree DNA, though. Just in case you want to do it.

I now had a pretty solid answer as to the surname of my grandfather's biological dad....it was Woods.

Contacting the Woods Family and Confirming the Results

I contacted the administrator of the Woods family DNA account, and soon got a message back from a really nice man, who said he'd been about to contact me regarding the match, as well. He could see it from his end, too.

While he didn't know of any rumors of illegitimate children in his Woods family line, which was his mother's family, he DID share some photos of about a half dozed different Woods men.

They all looked almost exactly like my grandfather. It was uncanny!

We decided to confirm the results with a DNA test at another company. This time, we both tested at 23andme.com. This site uses autosomnal DNA testing, which can show you relatives from both sides of your family, using autosomnal, or "junk" DNA that you inherit from both of your parents.

With autosomnal DNA, we could use my DNA and get a match, if there was one to be had.

Based on this man's branch of the Woods family, and how they connected to the Chester County Woods bunch, we determined we should be third or fourth cousins to each other.

That is exactly the relationship 23andme.com predicted for us.

We did the same test with this man's mom and my dad, and their exact third cousin relationship was also confirmed.

My grandfather was definitely part of the Woods family.

At this point, I really wished I'd grown up with that last name. It is so much better than my actual maiden name, which was the one my grandfather took from the man who raised him. My husband and friends agreed....Woods sounded way better with my first name than my maiden name.

Pinpointing the Actual Woods Who Fathered My Grandfather

There was a branch of the Woods family who lived in the actual TOWN my grandfather's mother lived in. They were first cousins to the branch who lived one town over, and to whom my new, online Woods relatives belonged.

The Woods family in my grandfather's mother's town had three sons, all pretty close in age to her. Based on my cousin relationship to the Woods relatives I met online, the Woods family in this town are almost certainly MY branch. 

Any one of them could be my grandfather's biological father. Their dad could also be the father. They all share the same Y-DNA, so getting the exact one will take talking to their descendants and comparing notes.

The Jefferson family has long been claiming it was one of Thomas Jefferson's brothers who fathered children with Sally Hemmings, and not Thomas himself. Thomas and his brothers all share the same Y-DNA, which they passed down to the Hemmings son who is known to be a Jefferson. 

That's one of the limitations of Y-DNA; it can tell you the surname of your paternal family, and maybe even the family group to which you gentically belong. But, it can't tell you the exact person if there is more than one male in the paternal generation.

Two of the three brothers have descendants who I've tracked down. The other brother never had any children....at least, none who are on record anywhere.

I haven't contacted those descendants yet....but, I will.

Conclusion--Digging Up the Past to Inform the Present, and Lingering Questions

I have four candidates for my grandfather's biological father now, thanks to Y-DNA. The father HAS to be one of these four men, based on my DNA matches with other Woods family members. 

What I don't know is, which one was it, exactly? I like to think it was the middle son, because he was the closest in age to my grandfather's mother. I also found a picture of him online, and he and my grandfather could have been twins. Even my dad thinks so.

One of the four potential candidates for my grandfather's biological father. I secretly think this is the one.

A rare photo of my grandfather as a young man. He didn't save too many of them, so this is actually the best quality I have. I think he looks a lot like the man above. My dad thought so, too. In fact, he said they looked EXACTLY alike.

Another thing I don't know is the reason my grandfather's mother kept his paternity a secret. It could be a variety of reasons.

  • They were in love, but he wasn't ready to get married or be a father.
  • His family didn't approve of her (her father was murdered when she was 12, supposedly for stealing a horse, and her family may not have been seen as "desirable" in their local community because of it).
  • He seduced her and promised to marry her, then didn't.
  • She was raped.

It could be other reasons, too, but these are the most likely ones. 

Reclaiming Our Biological Identity

Even though it was definitely a tough thing to be an unwed teenage mother in 1910, there never would have been a question of keeping the baby for her. She was from a staunchly Irish Catholic family (her mother was actually FROM Ireland), and anything else but keeping and raising him wouldn't have been considered. 

Whatever her reasons for not telling anyone the true paternity, they were her own. I respect her decision to keep it private during her and my grandfather's lifetimes. But, they are gone now, and knowing the truth not only hurts no one, it is our right as descendants to know our true biological heritage if we choose to look for it.

We chose to, and I'm glad we did.

Interestingly, my grandfather was not his mother's only out of wedlock pregnancy. When she got married in 1915, just a few months after her mother died, she was already three months pregnant with my grandfather's sister. This time, she found a man who would marry her and take responsibility for the baby, as well as the child who was not his own.

Upon hearing she was entering her second trimester with her second pregnancy upon her marriage, my dad's reaction was priceless. 

"Man!" he exclaimed, laughing. "Grandma got around!"

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