Such is what I and many of my friends in China were told by our parents when we reached the age of curiosity pondering the question of the birds and the bees.
However, beneath this innocence, lies deeper issues of old ideologies meeting with the new. Sexual attitudes shifting along with societal reform. With China opening up and becoming more globalised, we are seeing China exert less control over sexual expression. The cultural revolution is over, and the sexual revolution has begun. Where Chairman Mao once tried to bury Capitalism and Sex, Chinese people have begun to embrace both.
With less stringent controls on sexual behaviours, attitudes and ideologies, the people of China have begun a sexual revolution that has seen previously taboo behaviours become more widely accepted. For instance, sex is no longer seen as a necessity for bearing a child, in fact, sex has also seen itself divide from love. Couples are no longer considered comrades, instead they are viewed as lovers. While the older generation may consider fornication to be improper behaviour, the post 80's generation of people generally do not. Sex is no longer viewed as a means to reproduce, but more than ever, a legitimate pursuit of pleasure and happiness.
Perhaps what ignited this sexual revolution was the one child policy. Ironically it had little to do with the sexual revolution that was to follow. Implemented as a way to curb a surging population, the policy inadvertently liberated people from having sex for purely reproductive reasons. However, liberation comes with's caveats.
Revolution and it's side effects
The one child policy may have inexplicably brought about the sexual revolution, but it has also created a generation of singletons who grew up over indulged by their parents. The term "Little Emperor / Empresses" is now attributed to the new generation of children brought up under the one child policy. It is argued that these little emperors and empresses have a higher tendency to have poor social communication and cooperation skills. And being over-indulged also leading to a lack of self-discipline and poor adaptive capabilities. It is because of these reasons that we see a generation of people who feel an unrealistic entitlement to their treatment as well as expectations of the "perfect" mate, a behaviour instilled in them by being spoilt by their parents who have afforded them with a better life than they could themselves live.
This lead's to yet another problem which is the skewed gender disparity. Traditionally, boys have been favoured over girls because they could carry on the family name as well take care of their parents when they grow older. Although infanticide is illegal, it was still a fairly common practice before the 1990's. Couples would go through extraordinary lengths to ensure that their one and only child was a boy. For example, sex selective abortion was widespread for many years.
On the other side of the story, women have control over their sexuality more than ever. A growing middle class has seen more women pursue a career and achieving autonomy before settling down and starting a family. However, this empowerment of women and the feminist discourse has led to other pressures and social labels. The prime example would be the derogatory term, Leftover Woman which I have discussed in a previous post on China's leftover women : Single and not necessarily successful
Sex Education is still an issue. Rather, the lack of proper sex education.
A typical sex education class would be a simple anatomical diagram of how the sperm meets the egg and that's it. Most people will learn about sex and intercourse from the internet and online porn, which is often a skewed and lacking view of what sex really entails. It's no wonder that there is a rise in sexually transmitted diseases.
But with a lack of proper sex education at schools, parents are finding it hard to fill the gap. In-fact, parents are even less likely to talk to their children about sex.