Experiences of Children with Broken Families
Due to many reasons, a lot of families could not have sustained the healthy relationship among the family members. Some cases include mothers who gave birth to their children without the presence of the husbands or who had already been divorced when they were still pregnant. Regardless of the different difficulties resulting to family separation, one thing that is common among them, and that is the children who are always the victims.
Many children with broken families have not given the opportunity to know their fathers or, at least, get to know their names or even their pictures. A usual reason for this is that they have taken pride over the rearing of their children all by themselves, so they think that letting them know about their fathers is not already necessary. Another thing includes the bitterness the mothers feel about the separation from their children's fathers.
They always keep in their minds that it would just bring tears and sorrow to their kids once they know about what happened. Well, of course, there are also exemptions to that. There are also open-minded mothers who stay honest to their children because they think the kids have the right to know who their fathers are. Not only the fathers tend to get away from their babies. There are some cases of children who grew up with their fathers only. It may be due to the irresponsible mother or because of teenage pregnancy but having a capable soon-to-be fathers, or unprepared one or deceased mothers. But in the Philippine setting, it is only a rare case. According to the statistics provided by the GABRIELA Partylist, there are only 6 to 7 percent of broken families with only the fathers and the children present in them.
Nonetheless, children without either a mother or a father do have common experiences, both positive and negative. Eventually, kids who share the same family problem tend to become close friends. They easily get an understanding.
Jealousy
Usually children with broken families tend to get jealous whenever they see complete parents of children having picnic at the park or going shopping at the mall. They feel sad when it is father's day or mother's day. Jealousy also comes from their sense of insecurity. They always feel harmed around. Most of the vulnerable children are shown to be the children with broken families based on the findings conducted by the Save the Children foundation in 2014.
However, later on when they grow up and mature, they are expected to have a radical understanding about their situation especially those who have proper schooling. A research conducted as part of thesis entitled 'Anak sa Gawas' (stepson or stepdaughter) for the portion of the paper about children with broken families by a pair of Sociology graduating students shows that the majority of the young people (aged 18-29 yrs. old) have a critical understanding towards the problem of broken families as well as the problem of poverty and other related issues. Jealousy does not last.
They mature as early as 16 to 17 years of age. However, it is not the same scenario with those who do not go to school. In addition to the research, it shows that their jealousy has turned into bullying. They tend to bully their neighbors and street friends who have mothers and fathers, and eventually results to street riots.
The Feeling of Pity for the Parent
Especially for mothers, these children tend to get emotional about the sacrifices done by their single parents just to give them good lives. As much as possible, single parents strive hard in order to make their kids feel pity about themselves, but it has turned out that the children are the ones who feel pity for their single moms or dads. Most of these children use to be working students or a part-time job seekers.
College education is a bit expensive and that they want to help their single moms or dads by being part-time servers at fast-food restaurants. Others become student assistants at school. Those who do not work outside tend to become the main actors in household chores while the single parents are on duty.
Great Learners from the Past
Children with broken families are more careful with their actions than normal ones. They are afraid that their future babies might suffer the same thing as theirs. They prioritize doing something for their good future. Most importantly, they want to show their friends and acquaintance that having a broken family is not a hindrance to success.
Seeking of Mother or Father's Love from Someone Else
Though some of them may not be aware of it, children having broken families find intimate relationships to cover up the love that is missed. Studies have found out that they like to have live-in partners because they want companions in life aside from their single parents, but it does not that they easily want to get pregnant from having live-in partners. They just want emotional security.
Growing up with a broken family is never an easy life. A kid having a single parent would probably face more problems than those who enjoy life with mothers and fathers. The suffering usually starts when the child develops his or her consciousness until he or she becomes matured. It is really hard to face the school as many classmates tend to bully the child in any way hurtful to him or her. The lack of emotional security is a great factor for lacking the quality of self-reliance.
Conclusions
Good parenting is very important in all contexts. However, single parenthood provides negative impacts towards the children. Even if a single parent is very good in parenting, it is still undeniable that having both a mother and a father matter to them. It is advisable to first establish a strong family foundation before rearing a child because he or she will not come to the world as already a grown child. Of course, the child will probably suffer these consequences.