Spiritual experiences have basically defined my life. Arguably the most important spiritual experience of my life was at 11 years old, when I first accepted Christ inside of me. If this experience had not happened, it’s hard to know whether following experiences, ‘deepenings’ would have happened at all.
Today I want to take you all back with me to a particularly profound spiritual experience in my early 20’s, one that changed my life drastically and geographically. From an outside perspective, such as that of my parents, this would change everything.
First, let me introduce myself to you, my 20 year old, drunken unicycle-riding self.
I went to the university as a passionately conservative patriotic farm boy from Wisconsin, ready to study Economics and change my stars, to be a good citizen and make money.
Over three years of university my eyes were open, my conservatism crushed by Howard Zinn, my patriotism crushed by books like Lies my teacher told me, my passion crushed by these new revelations about how the world really worked. When I read Confessions of an Economic Hitman I gave up my dream of becoming a Foreign Economic Advisor.
I spiraled into depression and despondency. To try and spice up my college experience I pledged a fraternity in my fourth semester, Tau Kappa Epsilon, the only fraternity on campus that was rumored to still haze, and I wanted to see what was up. I met some of my greatest friends through that experience, but shortly before initiation the fraternity that I was almost a part of was suspended for hazing.
In my third year I lived in the now defunct Tau Kappa Epsilon house, with my non-brothers. Near the end of the third year I was now failing classes, had completely lost interest in all but a few of my courses, and most depressing of all I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.
One day, near the end of the semester, my roommate received some plants flown in from South America, and told me he would be using the stove for the next 24 to 36 hours.
Two days later he had indeed finished using the stove, and the tea he prepared was black and viscous. To the drinker it would cause a purge, either vomiting or diarrhea, and then….something magical, supposedly.
We had barricaded ourselves in our apartment, throwing the furniture up against the door, blocking the exits in case things got crazy but, after vomiting, all I wanted to do was get out of there. I scattered the stacked furniture and leaped through the door as soon as it would open, ran down the stairs and ran out the front door across the lawn.
I saw rows and rows of these types of buildings. That afternoon I wandered throughout the residential back half of Whitewater, Wisconsin, a tiny university town whose main service to the university was housing.
But that day I saw through the housing; I saw cages, storage units filled with garbage collected throughout one’s life. I noticed that the older and more established a person because, the bigger cage they needed to fit all of their stuff. I was repelled by what seemed to be a repulsive consumeristic focus on life, precious life. All I could see was stuff, and it was suffocating me. I had to get out.
I dropped out of university. After two months of summer work, I purchased the cheapest plane ticket to South America I could find, a fare from Texas to Bogotá, Colombia, and hopped on the greyhound bus, crisscrossing the country in a make-shift farewell tour. I was nervous and I think by crossing the country on a bus before leaving for South America I was somehow extending my run way for my life’s journey.
My subsequent life was nothing like what I expected or packed for. I had imagined backpacking across a great continent, Colombia alone proved more than a match for me.
Over the next years I would continue to deepen my spiritual experience, both aided and unaided, and gradually I found my calling in life. That one experience that day in Whitewater helped me take a leap of faith, head out into the world in a time of crisis, and find myself. I took a lot of flak at that point in my life from those closest to me, especially my parents, but even they have come around.
Thank you for reading this part of my story! As always questions, comments and complaints in the comment section!
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