I can think of no other mentality that is more destructive than being a victim. Nothing is more self-limiting and mentally crippling. I cannot think of another state of mind which is closer to slavery than victimhood. This applies to all races, sexes, creeds -- it doesn't matter who you are, you don't get some magical get out of jail free card when you have a victim mentality. It is the most destructive state of mind to have and identify with.
It destroys your sense of responsibility.
That's right, when you are a victim, you are continually blaming the outside world for your personal problems. You always seek validation from the external world and compare your worth to it's apparent limitations. For this reason, what people say and do around you are always colored by the victim glasses you wear - and you are a prisoner of your own making.
When you allow yourself to be perpetually a victim, you will never escape from the trap that your mind has created. The way to improving your life is only from within and what you can immediately control in your surroundings. Raging against "the man" or "the government" or "those misogynists" will never free you from your own personal prison. You have to be the one to emancipate yourself from this mental slavery - no one else can do it for you. No legislation or social "justice" can ever be a balm for your circumstances.
It destroys your self-worth.
When you are a perpetual victim, you lose sight of what you are - a marvelous human being. Some would say that you are a magnificent, endless and immortal spirit - the I within - having a human experience. Whatever you believe (or do not believe), when you identify with the victim mentality, you separate yourself from the miracle that is you.
You give away your power.
Whenever you allow something external to control your thinking and emotions, you are literally giving away your power. Whatever energy is devoted to being a victim takes energy away from other things in your life. If you do not love yourself, and you allow external things to dictate your thoughts, you have become a slave to this world. You have become un-in-powered.
Life is suffering and everyone suffers.
Some might say that as a white woman it is "my privilege in being white or a woman" to say such a thing, that I have it too easy - but let me assure you of the facts about suffering:
1. Life is HARD, it is full of pain and suffering and you will NEVER know the full extent to which your neighbor suffers. The only difference between humans is what flavor of suffering they have to endure. It is a human condition, and it is the height of arrogance and racist/sexist attitudes to segregate human suffering as if one type is more superior to another. Suffering is suffering whether it is entirely mental or physical, or both.
2. There will never be escape from suffering. There is no coming utopia. Lost and blind people will find ways to hurt each other, and people will be murdered and assaulted for a variety of reasons every day, for as long as there are humans. A certain damaged portion of the population (whether it is genetic/birth defect or by nurture) will always harm others. People will die. People will suffer. It is the endless wheel of karma and reincarnation.
3. Life can be very beautiful too, but we tend to focus on the negative tendencies which have been programed into our minds by culture/society. As I've said in another post of mine, karma is cultural as well as personal.
The cure for the victim mentality.
You gotta be a little selfish and recognize that you are destroying yourself with a victim mentality. Everything you touch in life will be colored by this toxic attitude, and you alone are responsible for your life. No one else is.
1. Realize the illusion of suffering. Even the greatest physical suffering has a root in the mind. I only expect miracles of this sort from our enlightened masters who have rigid control over the arousal of their senses to accomplish such feats, we all have within us the capability to foster control over our emotions and reactions to external circumstances.
2. As long as we identify with suffering, it will torment us. The Buddha did not conquer Maya (the illusion of suffering). He merely recognized that Maya was the illusion of our minds: all of our identities and thoughts running around up there that we confuse as ourselves. In Jnana Yoga, there is a practice of "not this, not that" which teaches us to disassociate with the workings of our minds and emotions, to realize that our identity can have no label, that it is the indestructible and undying observer-I beneath all the layers of the ego.
3. Compassion. Start with yourself. Then you can practice with others. Always, always, always know that whatever face you look at, behind the eyes is suffering in some form. If someone is alive, they are suffering. Such is the way of this world.
4. Breathe.
Try breathing in time with this image!
Your breath connects you with your inner reality. Take time each day to breathe and mediate on the wonderful being that you are. I use the imagery of a golden pyramid surrounding my body while I am breathing, shielding me from the negativity of the world. Sure, some still gets through, but I am protected while I do a lot of self work. I hope this will help you, as it has me.
5. As my teacher says, "Remember that you are just a speck in the grand, golden spiral of the universe."
I'm Sara. You can find me on my Facebook page hanging around posting silly memes (I try to keep my personal page light). I'm an unlabeled spirit having a human experience, and yet I have found my way into anarchy/voluntaryism since the concepts resonate with my understanding of Ahimsa, but I do not label myself as such. Labels are unfair to the reality of who we are inside! Please find and join a group I help admin, Philosophy, Spirituality and Anarchy, if you find my blog posts useful! Namaste!