"To sing means to sense and to affirm that the spirit is real and that its glory is present". - Abraham Joshua Heschel
My earliest memories of self include sensing that I have always been a spiritual being, not connected to religion or parental guidance of any kind. It came from within. In my favorite photos of myself as a young child I can see the sense of wonder I carried around inside. I have tried to keep that and pass it on. Not so much in a religious sense. Religion and spirituality have always seemed like two very different things. The most confounding part of this topic is that I find myself questioning what spirituality actually means.
I guess if one defines a spiritual moment or experience as a moment in time when the lines between self and the universe blur, I can think of two times. They were very different in essence. One involved a room full of people singing together a hasidic melody and the other happened during an intense one on one conversation about God with the guy who was my first boyfriend. Both of these things took place the same year. I was 17 or 18. The fact that I was so young makes me wonder if it is even possible to experience these things later in life. Is it connected to our brain development and chemical balances present (assuming no outside drugs...)? I don't know. Perhaps there have been other times, but life and parenthood and stress have covered them up.
SInce I have been thinking about this, I began looking up some Hasidic Chants or 'nigunim' to share with you. I have not been successful in my search. All I can say is that it was a relatively simple melody and as is often the case there are two parts and one usually repeats each part two times. In a group there are always some who can harmonize which of course adds to the beauty of the experience. This particular time, we had a visitor who was himself a famous Mizrachi singer - Solomon Bar. He passed away a number of years ago I believe. This video includes a good reflection of his music: 
He exudes a deep spirituality that was of a different color than what most of us ethnically Western European (Ashkenazi) teens were familiar (or totally comfortable) with. By the way, "we" refers to a mix of secular and religious Jewish teens up in Tzfat in Northern Israel, in a small hotel overlooking the setting sun and the Sea of Galilee. It was a retreat focused on breaking stereotypes and engaging in dialogue with 'The Other'. - Back to the melody. - It was already one I had memorized and sang to myself at home sometimes. It was one that groups of us sang together when we met on a rare Saturday evening at a friend's house. This time was memorable. First he listened. He listened and he watched us singing. He gazed at this room filled with a group of young people that would normally be arguing with each other or worse, refusing to even be in the same room. And here we were, boys and girls from various parts of the country, various religious backgrounds, singing together. Coming together as one in a melody without words. More of a rainbow of voices really. He joined in with his drum and then with his deep, deep unique Arabic accented voice. And together we sang. At one point I was smiling so big I don't even know how I managed to keep singing. This went on for an incredibly long time. It felt that we had all blended together beyond our physical bodies. The sound became its own being with a life all to itself. And the sound radiated energy back to us and through us. He was accompanying us with a drum. That was the rhythm of the universe playing along. We all melted into one. We touched eternity. And reality was blurred, but more real than real. That's how it felt. Slowly, slowly the drumming slowed down. Somebody coughed. Gently we came back to ourselves and to the room, still smiling. I don't think I was alone in sensing that together we had created something very special that would always reside within. And it has.
Now that I have done a bit more research, I came across another quote from one of the great Rabbis, Abraham Joshua Heschel mentioned above. I don't have it word for word, but he defined spirituality "as the place where God and man meet." Interesting that my own definition is really just a paraphrase of this. Do we all sense it the same way?
Here is a link to one of my favorite weekly radio broadcasts when I am lucky enough to catch it. Even if you don't listen you can learn a bit about this teacher. https://onbeing.org/programs/arnold-eisen-the-spiritual-audacity-of-abraham-joshua-heschel/
I don't think I will tell about the second experience. This is long enough. Maybe I'll write about it another time.
This isn't the same as the melody we sang, but it didn't seem right to leave off without sharing a taste of some good hasidic music.
Enjoy.
As always, I welcome your comments and thoughts.
Peace.
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