The adventure begins
Six months ago my husband and I got a call from a friend asking us if we wanted to adopt twin babies. It was a Friday afternoon, and we had 24 hours to make up our minds. The hospital was going to discharge the babies to social services if no one was willing to take them.
Amidst all the questions running through our minds, the most important was, "did the babies' mother really want to relinquish her rights?" We tried to be productive as we waited for the answer, but I remember not being able to focus much on anything else.
Once the mother confirmed, we agreed that we would love to make the babies part of our family. (And then I rushed to the store for bottles and formula...)
Of course, it all sounds very straight-forward now, but there was a lot going on during those 24 hours as part of the decision-making process. I don't want anyone to think we made our decision lightly. When it came down to it, we knew we didn't want the girls to end up in the welfare system, and we knew we were their last option. When we found out why, it broke our hearts...
A little background
As an adoptee myself, I've always wanted to adopt. I remember that at a young age, I learned that there were children all over the world in need of loving homes. I couldn't fathom why families wouldn't adopt them. But once I grew older, I realized that for many, adopting a stranger into their home is difficult to imagine. It carries a lot of fear and misconception. I've also learned that a lot is happening in the world of adoption that is unethical, making it even more difficult for people to overcome their fears.
Back to our story
My husband and I drove down Sunday morning to the hospital where the twins were born, which is about 5 hours away. We spent most of the drive picking out names. (The girls were only known as Twin 1 and Twin 2). When we arrived, we waited for A, who works with a child advocacy organization. She was the liaison with the hospital who had contacted our friend about the twins. She was busy all day trying to get paperwork sorted.
By the time we met at the hospital, they said it was too late to discharge the girls, but we could come back the next morning.
Babies NOT for sale
We went to A's house to hear more about the girls' story. The babies were born premature at 28 weeks and had to be in the hospital for two months. Another woman was planning to adopt them, but her plans fell through. Once agents heard about it, they started coming to the hospital to see the twins. ("Agents" as they title themselves, are people who "find" babies and offer them to families for "donations" or "service charges." In other words, they're human traffickers.)
What we heard next made me feel sick to my stomach.
Some agents offered to take one twin and not the other. Others, once they heard that the babies had medical issues, decided they weren't interested. And others were turned off by the high medical bills. We were told that one agent had planned to take both babies. He wanted to keep one for himself while selling the other.
Keeping babies safe
(Originally, we also thought the babies had medical issues. But after meeting us, the hospital said they had made things sound worse to detract the wrong kind of people. We were so thankful for their desire to keep the babies safe. They could've easily looked the other way and pretended not to know what the agents were up to.)
Our friend, A, because of her connection with the child advocacy organization, was contacted about the twins. She stepped in to find a family and make sure the babies weren't sold. She contacted other couples, but none of them could take twins on such short notice. Even though we still hadn't seen the babies, my mother's heart couldn't wait to give these precious girls all the love I could give them.
Figuring out a plan
Since my husband was scheduled to fly back to America on Tuesday, we needed to figure out a plan to discharge the babies and bring them home. Two major problems:
1. We still needed to pack my husband's things for his trip.
2. We were in the process of moving to a new apartment.
Since I would be alone with the babies for the first two weeks, we needed everything in the new apartment ... pronto. And since we only had one day before my husband's flight, we had to rush back home and get everything ready. A would take the babies to a caretaker's on Monday, and I would come back on Tuesday to be with them. (My logical side knew that was the only way it would work, but my heart was torn up knowing I wouldn't get to be the first to hold them outside of the hospital.)
All day Monday we moved boxes and unpacked them. Finally, that night, as we prepared for our flights, I think it hit us. In a matter of 48 hours, we'd become parents!