I dream of a world. A World of Cheese. A delightful domain of dairy, where everything is made out of the best food ever invented. I would like to share this vision with you. Will you join me on a journey through the land of Coagulated Casein?
Naturally, Swisserland is the capital of this world. There, the Swiss people spend their days trying to achieve holiness. They pray to their diety, Cheesus. The Provolone Palace overlooks the fancy Cheddar Chalets which dot the land.
Surrounding that country is the Velveeta Veldt. Cutting a path through there, you take the one road which is simply called the Whey. That will take you through a land of Cottages. One you reach Cream Country, you have to watch out for curds of animals roaming the countryside.
By now, you may be saying “ricotta stop for something to eat besides cheese!” I am sorry my friend, but you will find only blanc stares from the restaurants along the whey. “You gouda brie kidding me!” they will protest when you insist on another kind of food. If you can make it to the Queso Kingdom, you can at least have a hot meal.
In the distance beyond the QK is Mozzarella Mountain. Many men have tried to climb it, only to be fried to a crisp in the vats of oil that are hidden along the ascent.
Beyond the mountains, you must also be careful to avoid the dangerous munsters. If you can avoid being sliced by them, you will have a safe journey on to Port Salut.
Have no fear, there is plenty of power in this land. Colby the primary source of electricity, although there are also investments being made in blue energy. While your phone is charging, you’ll want to grab a quick shower to wash the rind off.
After you’re refreshed and rested, you must make sure to check out the Gorgonzola Gardens on the banks of the Roquefort River. You will also find a visiting American String quartet. Be sure to peel off a hunk of your day to listen. Then it’s off for an evening of brining and dining on the finest fromage this side of Deli.
Your journey will wind down as you exit the city via the Parmesan Promenade. Thank you for visiting. Now go back and apply what you have learned to make the world a better place. The feta this world hinges on whether or not we can stop global warming. If we cannot, then the World of Cheese may turn into one giant pot of fondue.
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Animation By @zord189