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“Alpha going back to life in three…two…one…”And in one snap, I woke up. It always ends up this way. Every single day as if it is part of my daily routine. Me lying still, motionless, looking lifeless, my eyes fixed in my dirty white painted ceiling. I’m in my room, in the bed lying as if a patient in the hospital. I probably look like a doll. I can see them, hear them, the men in a white lab coat but I can’t seem to move my body.
Every day, just after drifting to sleep, these men appear with medical equipments and stacks of paper for recording. Their purpose? To inject a colored serum into my arm. Sometimes, it is colored red, like blood, but often blue. My body feels numb hence, the pain from injecting doesn’t hurt. I learned about this ever since I was seven years old. “Project Utopia” that’s what I heard from their conversations. A project designed by the government that aims to bring back peace in the world by eliminating the feeling of anger, displeasure and any possible human emotion that would cause war or any threat that could destroy the world. They get their formula in this small beeping machine they carry all the time which lies on my wooden table. The machine has multiple colored buttons. Each one having different function than the rest.
They treat me as if I’m an object in an experiment, recording information and gathering data on how my body reacts, my emotion of the day and other necessary details. What they do not know is I’ve been conscious all the time. The thought scared me. But eventually, I got used to it. There’s nothing left to do but to pretend to be lifeless, to put on a show- the only way I know to stay alive.
Another night, this time I decided to turn things around. “Alpha going back in three two..”
“No!” just when he was about to finish counting, I exclaimed. I don’t know if what I did was right or wrong but I know this has to end. The man standing in front of me looked horrified. His eyes went wide. Upon realizing, I am conscious ,he reached out for a syringe and the next thing I knew I was awake.
The next day, I don’t want to sleep anymore. The thought of everything not being real frightens me. My mom prepared a French toast and my dad went to work after talking about the baseball game yesterday. We went through the same old routine. The day seems normal other than my encounter last night which I didn’t bother to talk about to other people even my parents for I know they’ll think I’m crazy.
I arrived quite early for my class. I reached out to my locker to get some of my books and as I opened it, I was taken aback. There it is, lying on my pile of books, an unfamiliar paper folded in half. I looked from left to right and examined the corridor. Who could have put this in here? Only I have the key to my locker. Puzzled, I reached out for the paper which I’m certain has been torn from a notebook of some sort. I opened it and freaked out as I read the following words: “None of this is real.”
The bell rang and I went to class. Quickly, I hid the note in my backpack. Countless thoughts came flashing to my mind. I can’t even focus on something. I know what I have to do-tell my family about it. The day went by and after class, I rushed back home.
Mom was there sitting by the couch in the living room, and dad was there too reading his favorite book. “Oh you’re early! ”,my mom greeted me. Without hesitation I spoke up, “Mom, I know this sounds weird but I think something is wrong, this isn’t real. None of this is real! Utopia, world, this is all fake!” My immensely loud voice echoed through the living room. My mom looked stunned and can’t seem to process what I just said. My dad looked at my mom, nodded and reached out for the phone and his next words brought chills to my spine. “Code red for Alpha.” And that’s when I knew I had to run.