Sir Muxxy bravely sat astride his mighty unicorn, Martha. With superhuman courage, he battled the elements; it drizzled through most of the trek. Shane got squelchier.
"Thir, are we there yet?"
"Nay, squire. And don't dawdle."
"Yeth mathter. No mathter."
Through dangerous fields of cabbages, they traveled. Worrying clumps of trees were boldly avoided along their journey southwards.
One dull and damp morning Shane prepared Sir Muxxy's usual banquet breakfast. The noble Sire attended to his morning ablutions behind a non-threatening bush. Just as he removed his pantaloons, the bush squealed.
"Oi! What yer fink yer doin'?"
An hour or so passed and the brave Sir Muxxy came to, Shane the Squelcher patting his silk gloved hand.
"Thire, thire. Wake up Mathter!"
"Uh? What is it? I must have dozed off."
"Yeth Mathter, jutht ath that buth jumped out at ya."
"Bush? Argh!"
Another hour later the brave Sir knight gallantly awoke.
"Yer wiv' us now?"
Quivering resolutely, Sir Muxxy the Brave and Totally Unafraid put Shane between himself and the angry looking bush.
"Who--what be thee Sir? Speak."
"Yer stupid? I'm a hedge wizard! Auspit be my name. What yer wanna go crapping on me feet fer?"
"A thousand pardons old Sir, I had no idea. I be - ahem - I am on a quest for the lost sword of dun, dun, dun--Excaliber!"
"Lol wut?"
"Dun, dun--"
"Yer, I got that. Why yer doin' that stupid noise?"
"Dramatic effect Sir! I trained at Madame Bouffrey's schoole of the Brayve Arts."
"Well yer going t' wrong way, idiot!"
Sir Muxxy the Always Right argued throughout the night with the bush. Auspit tried explaining that Coconutia was, in fact, an evil sorceress who purposely set him off in the wrong direction, for she sought the power of the mystic blade. Aghast at his own lack of utter stupidity, Sir Muxxy vowed upon the life of Shane that he would triumph against such corruption.
Off they set to rendezvous with Sir Percival the Slightly Above Average and into part three of Sir Muxxy's heroic tale of daring.
Humble apologies to @swelker101, @ausbitbank and @canadian-coconut