Mice Suck- Skit written for Steemstar After dark

This is a skit I wrote for this week's Steemstar After Dark. If you would like to see the skit performed live by fellow Steemians be sure to check out the show tonight at 8pm EST. in the Steemstar Network Discord.

If you have never heard of Steemstar After Dark, allow me to invite you to join in the fun! Steemstar After Dark is a radio show on Friday nights in which @carrieallen hosts an evening of hilarious entertainment. Steemians write skits, send them to @carrieallen, and she pulls the cast from the audience to perform the skit live on air. She also records them for those who can not make it for any reason.

Here is the post which includes last Friday night's show in which @carrieallen and her husband @chrisroberts perform a skit recreating the promise scene in Titanic. This skit was written by @linnyplant. You really have to listen to it. 😎Steemstar After Dark😎 - E5 - SHOW Archive - May 25, 2018.

If you would like to write a skit, or perform as a voice actor on Steemit After Dark, send @carrieallen a message, or find her hosting live every Friday night on the Steemstar Network! Come join the fun!

Mice Suck by @simgirl

Cast:
Narrator
Mama
Molly

Narrator
In a little cottage lives a family of mice. Every evening the mother mouse takes her daughter out for walk to explain what it means to be a mouse. This evening, they are on the hunt for a bite to eat and more nesting materials.

Mama
Come along now Molly. We mustn’t dilly-dally.

Molly
I’m coming mama. I am so hungry. Daddy only brought home berries. I am tired of eating berries.

Mama
Don’t worry little one we will find lots of things to eat tonight. We just need to sneak into the kitchen and then we will be on our way back to our nest in the wood shed.

Molly
Didn’t Daddy say we shouldn’t go back to the kitchen after what happen to Uncle Sal? Such a sad story. I wouldn’t want to die that way.

Mama
Oh, don’t mind your Daddy. Your Uncle Sal knew better than to eat the peanut butter. If you want to live a long mouse life, you will need food and supplies. The kitchen is where we find all the best stuff. And we are smart mice.

Molly
So, no peanut butter. Gotcha!

Mama
No peanut butter and no cheese. If the meal is too easy to get, you know it’s a trap. The humans don’t like us for some reason. Your Daddy says they are prejudice against mice, but I think if they understood us better they would learn to love us.

Molly
So how do we know which foods to eat?

Mama
The safe food is wrapped in a thin layer of stuff that taste funny. Or it can be in a more stable container. I’ve heard it is called a box. They are the most fun to tear apart. You will see. First, we need to find a way into the cabinet.

Molly
What’s a cabinet?

Mama
It’s a wooden box the human keeps their food. I’m not sure how they get it in there, but we can usually find a hole in the back under the sink…. Here it is. Hurry Molly before the humans see you.

Molly
I’m in. Boy it is dark in here Mama. I can barely see you.

Mama
I know Dear. It will be alright because we can smell the food. The best foods are stored in these bags.

Molly
These bags here?

Mama
Yes, those are bags of rice. We can rip open the edges with our teeth, and then eat until we are full. Be sure to chew it good or it will give you a belly ache.

Molly
Oh, this rice is good Mama.

Mama
Yes. And it is very filling it will give us strength for our next task.

Molly
What is our next task?

Mama
We need to carry those macaroni noodles back to our nest.

Molly
Can I chew a hole in the box?

Mama
Oh of course you can Honey. I’ll just eat a little more of this rice while you do that.

Molly
Boy this is fun Mama. Daddy never takes us to the kitchen. Oh, woops I went to the bathroom.

Mama
That’s ok Molly. We will be doing a lot of walking, just poop anywhere you feel like it. It is better that you poop here in the house. This way other mice will know that this is our food.

Molly
This sure is risky. I can hear the humans down the hallway.

Mama
Sometimes a mouse needs to take risks.

Molly
I’ll say, sneaking back and forth to the nest takes a lot of guts.

Mama
It does Molly. You must be brave to be a female mouse these days. When you have your own babies, you can show them how to bring food back to the nest too.

Molly
You really think I’ll have a family?

Mama
Of course, you will have a family. In fact, you should be having a big family very soon. And when you do, you will have some macaronis stashed to make your own nest.

Molly
My own nest, can you imagine. You’re such a smart mouse Mama.

Mama
Thank you, Molly. If we hurry, we can chew another bag open. Maybe we can find some lentils. Lentils are my favorite!

Molly
Right behind you Mama!

Narrator
And the mice family lived happily ever after pooping in the human’s kitchen and breeding more and more mice just like Molly. Each of them had their own nest of macaroni.

The End

Thanks for reading!

Thanks to @snook for this super cool gif!