_{Just drew this handsome fellow, like, half an hour ago. I had fun :P}

SIXTY-WINE

Alright star lickers, check this bad boy out.

Well, correction. Sixty-Wine doesn't have a gender because A) SW is a robot, so no, ya know, nuts or bolts. Well, a few, but not where you'd think. B) SW identifies as gender fluid, because genders are a "homosapien construct" or something like that. AW is capable of changing their voice to fit the preferred gender.

Sixty-Wine is a robot. They're kinda what would happen if the cartoonist Jason played a ton of Destiny 2 like I've been doing. You've got the weird, pointy beard that is not spittle, like in Ricky and Morty, and you've got the, like, over complicated robotic structure that probably wouldn't actually function if it weren't for the fierce determination of Sixty-Wine.

Sixty-Wine is what happens when you take a former drag ship and soup it up with the latest in medical technology and retail AI. It's cold and detached while also stock full of sarcasm and, well, SW can shoot ignited nitrous oxide out of their arm. Like Megaman, but probably more graphic.

When Sixty-Wine came into existence, they awoke at a responsibly sourced coffee bar in Tycar owing a bill for ten macchiatos that they obviously didn't possess.

When the barista started threatening to call the cops, SW boiled his coffee. And not like actually.

Sixty-Wine was picked up by a roving band of Social Conscience Pioneers, or the SOCOPs, and quickly delved into their literature on socialism and eradicating "table manners" because they're patriarchal.

In order to complete this profile, I offered to sit down with Sixty-Wine and have a chat about, ya know, stuff. I printed most of the dialogue below:

Interview!

Me: Thank you for taking time out of your...
SW: Yeah.
Me: [Long pause] Sooooo what's with the name? Sixty Wine. It's got a nice ring to it.
SW: Well, I was being pretty juvenile when I came up with it, honestly. It rhymes with sixty nine, and then, like, I feel like I'd like wine if I could swallow. It's like a band name though. If you get famous with a dumb name, like The Devil Wears Prada or Testicle Festival of Pain, you kinda have to live with it.
Me: Speaking of famous, we all know about the new book. So tell us about it.
SW: You could just buy it.
Me: Why, well, I actually...
SW: We had to cut down every tree on Pluridia just to print on paper. Every. Tree. We wiped out entire species. Isn't that worth buying a copy?
Me: I don't...
SW: I mean, sure, you could say you're supporting genocide or whatever by buying my book, which is totally your opinion to have, but, like, if someone offered you a panda burger, would you just refuse it? Like, "Nah bro, that's genocide." When will you ever get to eat a panda burger? The panda's already dead and, honestly, the reason they're dying is because they're too lazy to buy some lingerie and procreate with their hubbies. So, yeah. My book's a panda burger. Buy it.
Me: I think I'm done with the questions.
SW: But you have, like, fifteen more. [Takes paper from me. Reads.] "What's your favorite TV show?" Duh, Parks and Rec. "Why do you have mood swings?" I don't have moods, so, yeah. Shut up about it. "Why'd you take my questions?" Wha-?
Me: I'm a clairvoyant, so.
SW: Did you see this coming?? [Engulfs my hand in flame]
Me: [Rolling on the floor, screaming. It's disturbing to hear on tape. My flesh melted to the floor.] Y-yes.
SW: Why didn't you stop it then? Or why did you invite me?
Me: Because insurance.
SW: What? I don't have insurance. I'm a robot. My life is meaningless.
Me: Remember when I had you sign that document?
SW: [Profanity] Yeah, you're right. Um. [Steps over me] Nice interview. Seriously, you're good at this.
Me: Thanks Sixty-Wine. [Turns off tape with good hand]

Conclusion

So yeah, I'm healing nicely now, which is great because I'm going to Germany tomorrow! Well, I'll be in Dresden at, like, 2PM on Monday because time zones.

This whole post was for the Steem Wars thing I got dragged into. Or, erm, I dragged myself into. Forced my way in. That's the right term.

This is my character post, or whatever.

Hope y'all enjoyed it! Goodnight and God bless <3