There wasn’t any pain, just a sudden, high-pitched ringing and something that sort of resembled a flash of light. Then there was darkness, and shortly after that, silence.
Prior to that moment, I had been stepping backward, or being pushed backward. I’m not really sure. It all happened so quickly. I was standing in the front of a crowded bar trying to cool down a situation that was heating up between my brother and another bar patron when I lost my temper and threw my beer in the face of a mouthy guy in his mid-twenties.
Instantly, the bar erupted into commotion and, without knowing how, I found myself outside of the action, a fair distance from where I had just thrown my beer, wondering how I had gotten where I was.
In my confusion, I turned to walk away. I took one step toward the door, then remembered that my brothers and friends were there too, somewhere in the middle of the brawl.
I began to turn back. Just as I did so, a voice called out. Suddenly, a shrill ringing filled my head. The ringing was immediately followed by a flash of light. The light seemed to shoot out from behind two black disks hidden somewhere in the back of my skull. In the midst of this moment, I became aware of a dull thud-like sensation just above and behind my right ear.
Then there was darkness, and silence.
From the blackness and the silence, my first thought was, Am I really being choked right now?
I couldn’t believe it. From nothingness, I was suddenly aware that I was being strangled. It was the strangest thing.
I didn’t move or react at all. I don’t think I even opened my eyes. For some reason, I felt perfectly calm and detached. And yet, despite this calmness and detachment, I was pissed. Are you fucking kidding me? I thought. Some jackass is actually trying to choke me to death? Who the fuck is this guy?
Whoever it was, he had me bent forward, the back of my head pressed into his stomach. His arms reached down around my neck and squeezed tightly.
I couldn’t see any of this, of course, but I was aware of it. And I was aware of the fact that right there in front of me, not far from my face, were two very sensitive parts of this man’s body.
I considered punching him there. I even envisioned it. For some reason, I had time to do this. I watched myself fiercely pummel this area again and again with my fists, then grab hold of the two lumps there and squeeze them between my thumbs and index fingers with all my might. As I did so, I imagined my attacker tighten his hold on my neck and double down on his attempt to incapacitate me. It occurred to me that if I took this route, I’d be taking a gamble on who could endure more pain, and for how long. It seemed to me like a good way to get myself killed.
So I did the only other thing that I could think of. I lifted my arms straight out to my sides, let go of the resistance in my body, and waited.
Once is a series of micro memoirs inspired by a book of the same title in which Wim Wenders, the German filmmaker, uses a combination of photographs and text to reveal what he considers to be the beginnings of untold stories, which he encourages his readers/viewers to complete.
Similarly, I offer these moments of my life to you as if they were not my own, as if they were in no way connected to me, which in many cases they no longer seem to be. I encourage you to consider these moments as beginnings, beginnings of stories or travels that you are free to write, live, or complete as you see fit.
If you enjoyed this post, please also consider reading my This Is Japan series to learn about everyday life in Japan as seen, discovered, and experienced through the eyes of a foreigner. You can read my latest post here, Hamburg.