"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit."
- George Carlin
Jack of All Trades, or Renaissance Man?
I'm not arrogant enough (yet) to claim that I'm the latter, but I do believe that I am somewhere on the spectrum between a Jack of All Trades and a Renaissance Man. I've done a little bit of everything, and for the most part, enjoyed it.
This is the story of how I was fired one day for playing my guitar.
"Bring Your Guitar To Work Day?" Photo courtesy of Gabriel Gurrola and http://unsplash.com
I had worked at Burroughs for years.
The Rancho Bernardo facility was dedicated to advanced technology research and development. We were led by a brilliant but somewhat eccentric Israeli, a former tank commander in the Six Day War.
Hanan was revered by those who worked for him, partly due to his mind, and partly due to his management style. He was known for sayings such as "You can do anything you haven't been told not to do... lately."
Nobody punched a clock. There were no clocks around to punch, and we all typically put in considerably more than a day's work every day.
We worked hard, not to "do our time," but because we were geeks with a mission. We followed our commander, enjoyed our work, and produced new and exciting technology. As long as we were getting our work done, we set our own hours and enjoyed the liberty to take lunches and breaks whenever the muse struck.
Sometimes, working for a very large company is the pits.
A corporate-directed top management change took us all off-guard. "Corporate" sent in "Luke the VP," a button-down, by-the-book, Type A manager, to whip us into shape.
Here's a clue about his personality:
When VP Luke called the troops together for an introductory meeting, he was wearing a necktie decorated with multiple images of Tyrannosaurus Rex. I remember that meeting, and I remember the tie, but I don't recall exactly what he said. It must have been too painful.
Luke's necktie featured tyrannosaurs.
Photo courtesy of Umanoide and http://unsplash.com
Perhaps my mind was wandering? I've never been good at staying awake while seated in a stuffy, darkened room. In any case,
I was a little slow getting the memo.
Burroughs Corporation, at one time the second largest computer company in the world, was then (1980's) headquartered in Detroit. However, when VP Luke was recruited by Burroughs, he lived in Boulder, Colorado. He remained there, building up a group to (theoretically) collaborate with our San Diego area R&D efforts. Luke spent most of his time in Colorado, but would fly to southern California from time to time to check up on us.
One afternoon,
Luke and his right-hand man Robert were stalking the hallways of our R&D facility.
Oblivious to his presence, or perhaps simply uncaring, I had invited my friend and colleague Anna to my office for an unscheduled break. I picked up my guitar, which occasionally accompanied me to work. Checking for tune, I proceeded to play a rendition of "The Hamster Song."
The Hamster Song is distinctly a children's song. I had written it years earlier for my boys, who used to keep hamsters as pets. The song is based on the overriding goal in every hamster's life — a compulsion to escape from its cage.
"I'm a little hamster,
furry as can be.
Every day those humans
feed and water me.
But I have a secret,
kept where they can't see....
I've been planning my escape and
One day I'll be free!"
- 1st Verse Lyrics, "The Hamster Song"
Furry as can be...
Photo courtesy of Ricky Kharawala and http://unsplash.com
The next morning,
my boss called me into his office.
"Pack up your things. You've been terminated, effective immediately."
Apparently, VP Luke and his henchman had picked up on some of the lyrics while stalking the hallways. Luke determined that I was not only messing around on company time, but that I was fomenting a rebellion. I was accused of encouraging the rank and file to bail out and leave the company. After flying back to his lair in Boulder, Luke had called my boss and ordered him to fire me.
For the rest of the day,
a non-stop parade of teary-eyed well-wishers visited me in my office. Our group had always been pretty tightly knit. To a man, everyone was distressed by my summary dismissal.
Of course, after all the goodbyes, there was nothing for it but to pack up my stuff and leave for home. I was an "at-will" contract worker, and had no recourse.
As fate would have it,
I was scheduled to perform a "coffee-house style" set of songs that evening as a favor to a friend. My friend had organized a dinner for some movers and shakers in the local chamber of commerce. My wife suggested I cancel, but I refused. When the organizer found out what had happened, he offered to let me off the hook. I chose to sing anyway.
What good would it do to sit around and mope? I knew that Jesus would continue to look after me and my family.
The evening went well,
and my concert was very well received. I even sang "The Hamster Song." Buoyed a little by my receptive audience, I went home and enjoyed a restful night.
The evening went well.
Photo courtesy of Kari Shea and http://unsplash.com
The following afternoon, the phone rang.
It was my boss, asking if I would come back to work that next day.
Apparently, my firing had caused quite an uproar among my colleagues. A couple of the top local managers had actually flown back to Boulder, where they bearded the lion in his own den. Somehow, they managed to persuade Burroughs Corporation Vice President Luke that it was not in the best interest of the corporation to dismiss me.
They warned Luke that he would have a mutiny on his hands unless I were invited to return to work. Amazingly, Luke relented under this pressure.
Later on,
I was told by these same top managers that it was unheard of in the history of the corporation for a Vice President to reverse a decision, once made and announced. However, I worship the God described in this way:
"The king's heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord;
he turns it wherever he will."
- Proverbs 21:1
Not even "Tyrannosaurus Luke" could get rid of me as long as Jesus wanted me working there. I enjoyed several more years of service to Burroughs, and later, Unisys Corporation.
FIN
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