How NOT To Drive - My Rant On Respecting The Passing Lane

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin –

I dropped my granddaughter off at school this morning.

Frustratingly, on my way home, I had the misfortune of getting behind one of those idiots...

Respect the Passing Lane.
Image courtesy of Viktor Kiryanov and http://unsplash.com

Now, don't get me wrong.

I really don't mind slow drivers, although I generally refer to them as "slopes," my neologic contraction of "slow pokes."

However, I despise slow drivers who intentionally interfere with my driving.

What do I mean by that?

In my book, the most egregious sin a driver can commit is not respecting the passing lane.

I was driving on a four-lane highway, two lanes in either direction. Ahead of me were two cars, one alongside the other. Both were driving the same speed, both slow (about 40 miles per hour on a 65 MPH highway).

It should have been my choice to drive at whatever speed I chose. Traffic rules in most countries define the lane closest to the center of the road as the "Passing" or "Overtaking" lane.

This morning, however,

the chap in that lane ahead of me was having none of it. He was driving one of those tiny, super-economical cars. In my mind, I could almost imagine his self-righteous self-congratulations as he prevented me from using an ounce more gasoline than absolutely necessary.

Pulling up behind, I hoped that my proximity would encourage him to accelerate just a bit and move over. Nope.

I flashed my lights at him.

Would he yield?

Not at all.

Flashed my lights again... Nope.

I sounded my horn, and flashed my lights again.

At this point, I saw him look in his rear-view mirror. Rather than move over, he favored me with that world-renowned middle-finger salute.

Now, Jesus teaches us to forgive those who trespass against us, even as we have been forgiven. Nevertheless, clueless drivers like this one make doing so a rather difficult exercise! I was stuck, fuming, behind this obnoxious, ill-behaved idiot.

About a thousand years later,

as we neared an intersection, the fellow on the right moved into a turn lane and I was able to pass the a***ole of the day blocking the other lane.

As I sped through the intersection, I tried desperately to imagine what kind of remedial education might be effective on that dolt and his ilk. For whatever reason, my impression is that Americans in general are the absolute worst at respecting the passing lane. Germans, with their Autobahns, are perhaps the best.

Don't drive "the wrong way."
Image courtesy of NeONBRAND and http://unsplash.com

Be kind to your neighboring motorists.

Don't drive "the wrong way."

Help keep tempers low and maximize safety.
When you aren't passing, stay out of the passing lane.

Oh, and thanks for letting me get this out of my system!

_FIN

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