Thanks for visiting! This is an ongoing series with advice and ideas for fiction writers--especially those who are just finding their way. You can find links to the other posts in this series at the end of the post.

How to accept criticism on your fiction writing

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How to accept criticism? "Graciously." There’s your answer, friend. We’re done here! Just kidding.

There’s a lot to explore about this topic. Accepting criticism is one of the hardest things we have to do, as writers. It’s necessary and important, but when it doesn’t go well, it’s like someone telling you that you have an ugly baby. No one wants to hear that.

In some ideal world, every piece of fiction you write is perfect and needs no editing. But you and I both know it never happens like that. So, if someone reads your story--a friend, family member or editor, for example--the last thing you are expecting to hear is “Don’t change a thing. It’s perfect. Send it off to The Atlantic!”

Of course you don’t expect that. You know you need to edit and revise, and you want some honest feedback so you can make sure your story is the best it can be. (Right?)

Let's talk about some common types of feedback and some things to think about.

Types of feedback

Some feedback may be easy to handle, and other types of feedback may not. Here are some examples of feedback you may receive if you work with editor, such as the hard working folks at The Writers' Block:

Grammatical issues: These tips often include things like missing quotes, missing or misplaced periods or commas, “comma splice” comments (or “run-on sentence” comments) and so on. Most of these will be easy corrections.
Fiction fundamentals: You may get comments about some well-known methods and best practices of fiction writing that can help you to improve your entire approach. For example, there are ways to make it clear to your reader who’s talking without writing “he said” and “she said” ad nauseam. If you embrace these fundamentals, it can impact the quality of all of your stories.
Point-of-view (POV) problems: If the reader has a hard time seeing through the eyes of the protagonist, or the point of view seems to change willy-nilly, you will hear about it. Once you see these kinds of comments a few times, you will be more aware of it, and can think about ways to smooth out the POV.
Storyline: The comments you are probably most keenly interested in are the ones about your plot, characters and the central conflict of the story. These will give you an idea about whether the story you are telling resonates with the reader and compels the reader to keep reading. Is the story plausible? Are the characters and their interactions believable and interesting? Does the reader start reading and want to keep reading. Is the conflict genuinely interesting, and does it resolve in the end? Comments related to these aspects of your story can hit you right in the gut, if they are not overwhelmingly positive.

What to do with the feedback

If you feel the reader/editor is right that there’s something missing, flawed or askew in your storyline, don’t flush the story down the toilet in a fit of despair. Maybe give it a rest and come back after you have time to think about how to tackle the issues.

Remember that you don’t have to accept and use all of the feedback you receive. It’s your story. If the comments are about fundamental flaws, that’s one thing. You will need to fix them to have a viable story. If the comments are due to the fact that the editor doesn't see your vision, and is suggesting changes that would make the story completely different from the one you wanted to tell, then you want to study the suggestions, but implement them only if they feel right.

I’ll tell you a little story. I just completed a piece of fiction and got some initial feedback. Several editors looked at it, and all provided some positive comments and some information about what didn’t work for them, which is absolute gold to me. I have a thick skin, and I don’t have any issues with people suggesting changes, and letting me know what they didn't like, what confused them, etc. Comments are generally spot on and help me see the flaws in my story that need fixing.

In this case, one of the comments was something to the effect of “you need more conflict.” So I'm thinking about that. But the fact is, the story’s conflict is intended to be somewhat subtle. It’s about a person having an internal struggle with self-esteem and the midlife blues. It’s not high drama. No one is going to get into fist fights or shout at each other, or do a Thelma and Louise and drive a car off a cliff. A highly dramatic story wouldn't have been right.

I actually read a published story as I started writing this one that I chose to use as a model for my story, in tone, style, and the intensity of the conflict. The published story was recently recommended by a fellow writer, and it’s absolutely a joy to read. And it was recently published in the New Yorker. The story is called Texas, by David Gates. Nothing highly dramatic happens in that story, and yet the characters and events and storytelling are all so compelling that I couldn’t set it down.

I know my story needs work and I’m going to roll up my sleeves and take a sculpting knife to it. But I know what the story is, and what it isn’t. I want to make it more of what it is, not what it isn’t intended to be.

I hope that helps you gain perspective when you receive comments from readers, friends and editors! Remember that they are most likely very well-meaning, and their comments can be incredibly helpful as you refine your story in subsequent drafts. But an important take-away is that you really can't please everyone, and when suggested edits are a matter of opinion, you can simply choose whether to allow them to guide your story.

Thanks for reading!

The previous posts in this series are:

To your success!

Writing workshop volume 16: How to accept criticism on your fiction writing

How to accept criticism on your fiction writing

Types of feedback

What to do with the feedback