He twitched nervously. He was too old for this he kept thinking. The stress of returning to dating after being married since, well it seemed like since time began, was no picnic. He checked his clothes for lint or anything that could spoil his efforts to look clean and respectable, would you trust your daughter with this man? he mused silently to himself.
He knocked again. He checked his hair, again. Oh god his breath! How do you check if you have bad breath? Don't you lick the back of your hand or something? He decided there was just enough time to try and she opened the door as he was in mid lick.
"Hi" her voice light and her greeting delivered amidst a small giggle.
Embarassed he dropped his hand and whilst glowing a lovely shade of crimson he muttered 'hi' and 'sorry' at the same time. It didn't turn out well. "hi-ry?" he blushed further though it hadn't seemed possible.
"Would you like to start again? I can close the door and pretend all this never happened" she said and giggled. "Why were you licking your hand ?" she asked with a huge grin sneaking in.
"Oh god you saw that huh, my secret is out I am a secret handlicker, sorry, and hi" he grinned and her smile had begun to make him feel a little more relaxed, he loved how she made him feel at ease.
"Don't worry I am sure your breath is fine, If you want we can test it out" she said and kissed him.
It was a quick, though surprisingly intimate, kiss.
"Yup all tastes fine to me" she said and took his hand leading him through to the living room.
He loved everything about this woman, to him she was perfect and he couldn't believe his luck, and even better she seemed to feel pretty strong about him too. He wanted to make a good impression tonight and was on his best behaviour, this was worse than meeting in-laws, this was worse than going for an interview or meeting the boss, this was the hardest test of all, for tonight he was to meet for the first time the precocious pre-teen daughter of the woman he was hoping to marry, some day.
"I know you're nervous about meeting Katie and that's my fault" she said and once he was sat comfortable on the sofa she gave him a drink.
"Honestly it's not that bad really, she is a sweetie, with those that she likes" she said and sat next to him, "Katie is just very confident that's all, and has a terrific imagination, I am so proud of her"
He smiled without any confidence, it was a vaguely hopeful smile, the sort of smile that he hoped conveyed the concept of 'I love you please don't hold it against me if your daughter doesn't like me' It was the smile of a man who didn't want to calculate his odds of surviving if the pre-teen didn't like him.
"I'm just going to check on the food, ah here's Katie now, Katie meet Ian and please be nice to him, Ian this is my beautiful and talented daughter Katie, I'm very proud of her" she said and literally beamed with obvious love for the golden haired, pale skinned, girl that stood appraising the man on the sofa.
The man on the sofa squirmed under the obvious scrutinisation and wasn't sure if he should have held out a hand or just nod or, what the hell does one do? He could not remember, he didn't have this problem thirty years ago. Why did he have to go through this hell now at his age ? His thoughts rumbled around his head and he plummed for a short nod of the head and a mumbled "hi" and felt a surge of instant regret worried that he now looked surly and unfriendly.
Sarah went to the kitchen happily, she was on cloud nine; she loved this man, loved everything about him and she just knew Katie would like him too.
Katie sat on the arm of the expensive-looking, white leather sofa, and was opposite him, being as the sofa was in an L shape and quite low to the ground this meant she was now full face on staring at him and from a higher position, psychologically speaking it wasn't feeling too good for Ian.
"It's nice to meet you, ermm Ian? Isn't it?" she said in a low and deliberately formal voice, Katie always liked meeting mothers prospective new boyfriends, it was, fun.
"Um yes Ian, good to meet you so erm what's your favourite music?" he said, a little too quickly but he was pleased with himself that he had thought of something to say to this strangely intimidating child.
Katie giggled, it was slightly disconcerting when she giggled, not exactly a natural giggle of a child, this was almost the sort of giggle that happens when a woman knows what's coming next and better than that she knows that you don't, the thought struck a thin wedge of ice in him, he ignored this feeling as 'just being paranoid' and wondered if this peculiar child was going to answer his question.
"Music, that's boring, all music is boring, especially all that old peoples stuff that mother listens too, ugh" she muttered and wrinkled her perfect, tiny, nose in disgust. She stood up and looked at him pointedly, almost as if she was trying to work something out, he didn't want to take a guess at anything that lay inside that strange little mind, the child spooked him and he didn't want to admit it.
"I know something much better, I think I can trust you so I shall show you my secret " she said and her eyes came alive. This induced a sense of alarm and he wasn't sure what she would show him, maybe it was some piece of artwork he guessed and he nurtured the hope, and then he could pretend to be impressed and bingo everyone would be friends.
"That sounds, interesting" he replied and began to be more positive that this could actually go ok after all.
"Depends, you have to promise first, promise you won't tell no one" she whispered whilst making a rather dramatic look toward the door seeming to indicate that mother shouldn't know. This worried him greatly and he was about to voice some kind of hopefully responsible stern adult thing, that was what he was going for, along the lines of 'he must tell mum everything no secrets' when the creepy child had already skipped off and he was left in mid opening of "Oh I Have to tell..
He was verging on panic now, what on earth was she going to get? He wished Sarah would come back in, he thought about going to see if he could find the kitchen, and Sarah, and then he heard a voice from somewhere in the depths of the house shouting "Sorry Ian, be right back, just nipping to next doors get some butter" The plan of finding help in Sarah evaporated as the sound of the back door banged shut and he was now sweating.
The giggle announced Katie was back and he looked up as she poked her head round the edge of the door.
"Are you ready?" she asked.
He went pale and had no answer he began to say "I, am not sure.."
"Hang on, you look nervous, ok, look let me explain and give you some helpful tips; first, honestly there's nothing to worry about" Katie sounded so very sure of herself as she spoke it was like she fully believed that once she had given instructions he would embrace the whole thing, whatever it was.
Katie plonked herself back on the arm of the sofa and leaned forward then she spoke in a quiet, slow, amd what she decided was quite a patient, voice "Firstly you have to remember to handle them gently, they don't like big rough hands you know, talk quietly too as they don't like loud noises, let him come to you, don't go reaching out, they're shy you know, and lastly don't forget to wear the gloves"
Katie then smiled, she was satisfied with her clear and concise intructions, she looked at him for his assurance that he understood and was met with a blank stare.
"Oh I see you have a pet, oh that's ok, right, yes, a pet, is it a gerbil or something?" said Ian enthusiastically, he felt a huge relief; he could do a pet, no problem, give it a quick stroke or something, say 'how cute' and bobs your uncle.
Katie giggled again, it was such an unsettling experience when she did that.
"Yes he is my, pet" she giggled again and said "He is the best, pet, in the world, he was given to me by an old man that hangs around the alleyway that's why you can't tell mum; she goes mad if she thinks I'm hanging round the alleyway, and anyway this man gave me him for free, which was brilliant, he said this one was the only one on the world, and that means he is the last of his species and I have him" she finished with a huge beaming smile.
"The only one?" asked Ian his face now creased into confusion.
"Yup, that's what the bloke said, that's it when this one dies they're all gone, so I have to make sure I look after him really well" she looked very confident as she said this and in fact Katie was convinced that she was the only one in the whole world could do the job and that's why she had been given the valuable task.
"So, what is it? This pet what is it called?" he asked and he was now worried that somehow this strange child had an endangered species of some sort and somewhere along the line he just knew he would get in trouble for being an accomplice, albeit an unwittingy and definitely not agreeing to any of this 'harbouring a protected species' sort of an accomplice and he figured he would just wait until the unnerving child went to bed and then tell Sarah.
"It's a dragon" said Katie in a whisper filled with both pride and expectation of him being overawed at her amazing pet, she waited for his exclamations of wonderment and expressions of how amazing it all was.
"A dragon?" he said, barely able to contain his smile, he had to work hard at impressing this child, does he go with pretending to believe her? Maybe she is testing him? Trying to see if he was gullible enough to believe, Or seeing if he was too stupid? Jeez, he thought, how the hell do I play this one?
"Yes, that's what I said; a dragon, and the very last one as well" she said, but he could see above her confidence was the beginning of a tell-tale lip-curl of contempt and he had to quickly save the situation, then he remembered bearded dragons or something like that, his memory not serving him too well at this moment and as he grasped at mental visualised straws he thought weren't they japanese or something? He knew they existed and this was obviously what she meant and he went with it. He regained confidence and said "Hey that's brilliant! I love them please can I see it then?"
"I knew you would like them!" she exclaimed and ran to the living room door in order to retrieve the cage. It was covered in a deep red velvet cloth and was the size of a small rabbit cage. He could hear a scratching sort of noise, and he thought the cage seemed quite ornate, but he liked lizards generally so he was just glad everything was going somewhat smoothly again.
"Here we go, I shall introduce you soon as I take his royal covering off, he is very much a royal dragon you know and you must be properly introduced" she said.
He readied himself to greet the scaly one and hoped Sarah would come back soon, it was going well but he didn't know how long he could keep this up, the smile was beginning to make his cheeks ache.
"Oh Sir Percival are you awake dear? Are you agreeable to meeting mothers new boyfriend?" asked Katie in a way that somehow left Ian feeling a little perturbed again, it was almost as if she was being sarcastic, he told himself he was imagining things.
The sound of the back door shutting interrupted the tension filled silence and Katie hurriedly ran and placed the cage behind the sofa.
"Hi you two! Tea is nearly ready, hope we are all getting along well?" asked Sarah and was met with overly confident agreements from Katie, and a weak smile from Ian. He hoped it was the sort of smile that said 'I love you and yes I have survived so far but please rescue me soon' Satisfied with the seemingly successful evening, so far, Sarah returned to the cooking duties.
"I love dragons, and you know I honestly thought they were all gone already, wasn't until I met this man and he said he had one and would I like it and then said I could have it for free, and then, well I was interested but it was only when he showed me that I even believed they were real" she said and once again gave Ian a pointed stare, it was as if she was challenging him outright to state the obvious.
Again he found himself at a crossroads; does he acknowledge that he too thought that the big ones were just fairy tales? Or go with thinking the child just thinks her bearded dragon is a smaller version of the fairy tale ones? The experience of this evening was beginning to make his head hurt.
"Well bearded dragons are definitely real," he began "I know they come from..."
Katie had already brought the cage and had begun removing the plush velvet covering, he watched engrossed despite himself, even though he was a grown man and definitely quite sane, he still had some tiny part inside his brain wondering what if?
The creature flicked a long tongue in and out, it eyed Ian suspiciously. Ian had heaved a sigh of relief, this thing whatever it was, was clearly real. He was not entirely sure what it was, beyond being some kind of lizard and that had been enough for him and he had engaged in the expected speech of "oh hey that's brilliant"
"I know" said Katie proudly and removed the rather ugly, scaly, creature from its cage. She placed the creature in his lap and he nearly recoiled, it was rather large and definitely quite fearsome when viewed up close.
"Don't worry; I will keep tight hold of him, just thought you would like him to sit on your lap, I will keep my hands tight round his chest though so don't panic" she said and laughed at Ians obvious discomfort.
"Oh no, no, honest I am fine it's , a , um brilliant pet" he finished lamely and went to try and pat it on the head, which was curiously flanked by a large and spikey-edged flap, with two further smaller flaps behind that and it had spikes running down the length of its spine. All this made it quite diffficult for Ian to choose exactly where to pet the thing and he cautiously tried for what he hoped was a slight tap on its forehead. The creature whipped its head in a graceful, yet definitely predatory, movement and went to bite Ian. It didn't manage to make contact as katie was as good as her word and had whipped it away in a flash and all Ian had felt was a hot sensation on his hand.
"I told you no quick movements! And let him come to you I said! And you should have put the gloves on! Poor Sir Percival" complained Katie and holding the scaly beast close she rushed the creature back to its cage and before any more was said she was halfway back up the stairs.
Ian was never more glad to see a pet go and he looked at his hand; it was quite sore. At this moment tea was served by a jolly and slightly anxious Sarah and the evening was taken up with chatter and food and finally the perplexing petulant Katie went to bed. At last Ian and Sarah relaxed.
"I am so glad you and Katie are friends, you seemed to get on so well" said Sarah "Thank you for trying so hard with her it means a lot to me" She gave him a hug and they sat down on the sofa ready to watch a movie. He smiled and really hoped everything was now on track, he even thought he would mention the pet, after all what could be so bad about having a lizard type thing? He was sure Sarah wouldn't mind.
His hand was sore though, he figured he wouldn't get too close in future, odd though he mused to himself; he could have sworn it never actually bit him, it seemed like katie had whisked the thing away so quickly it had no chance of even touching him, and he was sure he had only felt its breath, never mind he thought, time for hopefully a cuddle or two as they watch the movie, better pick a horror he thought and he smiled to himself.
He went to hold Sarahs hand in what he hoped was a sensitive and romantic way and not just sweaty and uncomfortable way. Sarah smiled at him and looked at his hand as she went to complete the affectionate gesture and noticed the mark.
" Oh that looks sore, it's a burn isn't it? It looks fresh, when did you burn your hand?" she asked genuinely concerned.
Puzzled Ian looked at his hand and saw the now clearly damaged skin, there was a bright red burn, it was looking such a deep red he was sure it would blister, a blister meant second degree burns, how on earth did that happen? Second degree burns from the breath of a ...lizard?
thank you for reading
written in response to the post by @mctillar twenty four hour short story; using the topic a boy or girl insists they really have a pet dragon please see here for original post @mctiller/writers-win-5-steem-august-21-twenty-four-hour-short-story-a-little-boy-or-girl-constantly-insists-that-they-really-have-a-pet many thanks to @mctillar for the opportunity