Wedding bells, and how to save a fortune on your special day.
So, some good friends of mine decided to finally tie the knot in July. Let's not argue about the concept of marriage here, I understand it's not for everyone, but hey, some of us do decide to get married for good reasons.
They are big drinkers, and fun to be around, but not the most organised couple ( the groom especially). After a rather chaotic stag do, I was a little bit worried about how the wedding would go, particularly as I had volunteered to be the photographer.
The Venue
They chose a nice venue (a camping site with luxury Teepees and great facilities). They had stumped up the fee for the campsite so that none of the guests had to pay. This was great, as one of the biggest expenses for a guest can be the accommodation. They also provided a barbecue and a large cooler van for all of us alcoholics (Brits) to keep our precious drinks in. Again this saved everyone a small fortune as often the bar tabs for drinks at weddings can run into the hundreds of pounds. People were asked to bring their own drinks to stick in the cooler, but food was provided for the wedding day.
Preparation
A lot of people helped getting things ready on the day (and before the day) , and a last minute decision was made to have the ceremony inside in a barn because it was raining (yep, it's England). So a lot of us were prepping food, decorating the venue and helping out in general to get things ready. Luckily the barn was nicely done out with some Americana, and had enough chairs and room for the guests, so the groom's sisters and a team of helpers set to decorating the barn. The flowers had been kindly made up by one of the bride's friends.
The Ceremony.
This turned out to be the tour de force of the wedding, and from the offset was a fun and light hearted affair, with the bride and groom dancing their way through the ceremony, which was a tribute to the Blues Brothers film. The bride had chosen her brother to conduct the ceremony, and as they had legally got married the day before in a registry office.
The rings were tied to the couple's dog who came onto the stage and they cut the rings from the dog's collar.
All in all the ceremony lasted around 20 minutes, and involved the guests dancing, clapping and basically having fun.
The cakes.
2 wedding cakes were made, one from a stack of pork pies, the other from a stack of cheese. The couple had also put out a challenge with a prize for people to bake and bring their own cake, so their were plenty of cakes for the reception party.
The after party.
The couple had arranged for a number of stalls to be set up for guests and their children to play on, including a mechanical bull, strongest man machine, coconut shy and a log with nails. The log with nails proved to be the most popular stall, which involved people hitting a nail into a log. All day children and adults were playing on this, and by the evening a impromptu gambling syndicate had formed betting on various participants as to who could knock the nail into the log with the least number of hits. Amazing that such a simple idea could be so popular, I'm not saying that every wedding should have one, but there is a certain beauty to the simplicity and lack of equipment/ setting up for this one.
In the evening there was a traditional ceilidh dance (think a traditonal English/ Scottish / Irish version of the dancing from Pride and Prejudice without the pomp) and also a DJ playing requests.
Conclusion
I know that a lot of brides (maybe grooms too?) have been set up with ridiculous expectations of a wedding day and buy into the dream, which at present is around 18,000 pounds in the UK.
Believe me , I've been to many weddings that cost way more than this, and can remember little about them apart from my headache and visa card bill from the next day. Yet this wedding cost way less than that, saved the guests themselves money and was much more fun and memorable.
How can I save money for guests and myself and make the day more enjoyable?
- Get your guests to help out with things. Use their talents. Most guests will be very proud to have helped out on the day, and certainly a mention in the speech and a small gift will more than recompense any said help.
Things like the flowers, cake, entertainment, photography, food can easily be provided by guests. Obviously there may be some need to pay some expenses for helping with things, and in this couple's case they provided free accommodation for everyone along with food on the day. You will find some guests want to help out more than others, but hey, that's human nature.
The cake - The bride and groom asked people to make cakes as a competition. Admittedly , the main cake was pre-made, but you could choose the best one to use as the cake if you wanted.
The drinks.- Set up your own bar, you could even charge a small fee for drinks to help pay for the wedding, or as in this case bring a cooler trailer for people to keep their drinks in.
The food. - This was done in a buffet style, and will save a small fortune on the fee per head charged by most wedding venues.
The venue- Could maybe be a bit more difficult to save money here, especially if you want a winter wedding, but campsites work well, hiring a large holiday cottage would save a lot of money, especially if you get the guests staying there to chip in for their accommodation.
The entertainment. - Certainly the best weddings have entertainment provided by friends of the couple, they might need some recompense for performing, but much cheaper than hiring a wedding band. Actually most people like to put in their own music requests, so a computer with MP3s and a list for the guests to add to serves better than most wedding DJs.
The photography. - Again most couple's will know a budding photographer, plus most people have some kind of phone which will take pics on the day. A shared album on the internet with people choosing the best pics for an album inspires people more than a lot of photographer's work. From my perspective, getting around all the guests after the wedding was a bind, although I did organise the group shots. which would be something to consider if you are planning to DIY the photography.
The flowers - They were done by a friend and looked great.
A lot of this depends on how much of a perfectionist you are, and how much you buy into the mainstream pics seen in Bride's magazines and similar.
The guests had much more input into the wedding here, both creatively and in terms of work they put in. This gave them more of a stake in the wedding, and they actually enjoyed it more because of their input. If you think logically about how long it tales to save for a wedding (3-5 years?) Is that much money from your hard earned work, time away from your family, working shitty jobs etc really worth the fantasy of a one day event? Even if you think your day should be special, surely getting people to participate and help out is much more fun and interesting than a corporate wedding?
I know that a lot of the ideas above may not suit every couple, but the whole point is to tailor the wedding to your own tastes, and that of the guests who will be more than willing to help out, and actually appreciate having their own input.
Would love to hear any other ideas/ comments below, your experiences good or bad of alternative/ mainstream weddings.
All pics in this article were taken by myself, and I own the full copyright.
