Rupert Murdoch would be proud of me... I made my first newspaper at 11 years old, as a little anarchist.
It was the underground newspaper Goss 6, written for Class 6. We would complain about the uncomfortable chairs, the disgusting school dinners that looked like chicken vomit, and the regular head-lice infections. The teachers hated my newspaper, and me by extension, because I was challenging their authority.
I created another school newspaper at secondary school - "News of The Plebs" which blew away my classmates. I was the king of gossip. I wrote about romantic liasons, teachers being sacked and it all stopped when I announced one girl was pregnant and wanted an abortion.
That poisonous look Mr MacIllroy gave me when he said "you're bringing the school into disrepute!" I'm so proud of myself for that.
After leaving school, I learned copywriting and marketing. This turned into many well-paid but soulless gigs for software companies, real estate agents and financial websites. But boy oh boy that got boring. When you're on the third article of the day about "13 Things You Never Realised Your Recruitment Software Could Do" - you start to question your sanity and why shouldn't jump from a tall building.
I won some awards and earned a good reputation. But I got so soul-curdlingly bored I had to stop doing it.
Anyway you're probably bored of me now - so what makes good writing? Ask yourself this:
1. Why should anyone care about what you have to say? "What's In It For Me"?
Humans (especially online) are selfish brats. Everyone is always looking for how they can be better people, earn more money, attain status, be more knowledgeable and insert goal here . Before you start writing you need to ask yourself "why should/would somebody care about what I write?" Picture your ideal audience in your head as you write. This will let you highlight the most relevant parts.
2. Write about what you believe that most other people don't
Articles that challenge "common-sense", taboos and accepted knowledge do extraordinarily well. Especially hot and emotionally-charged topics. Two outstanding examples are James Altucher's essays on why you shouldn't buy a house and why you shouldn't go to college. These challenge some of the basic religion of American middle-class culture. It's impossible not to read it.
3. Are you being honest with yourself?
Authenticity sells. It connects your heart someone else's. It doesn't matter if you have something good or bad to say. If you're saying your truth then it will connect with other people.
4. Clear your mind-clutter before starting
Freewriting lets you clear out the crap. The best writing will simply flow through you from your brain to your fingertips. You'll often go into a trance and it'll write itself. You need to get yourself out the way.
5. Have some bloody conviction in what you say
Confidence sells. If you want to say something, bloody well say it. Don't be wishywashy. Don't be vague. Get angry. Get loud. USE CAPS! USE EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!!!!!
People respect confidence and will relate to that. They want you as a writer to hold them and take them on a journey. So do it!!
6. Does your headline leave someone gagging for more
Your headline is your striptease. Imagine you're an impoverished sexy lady on a stage and want your lingerie stuffed with dollar bills. Well - it's kind of like that on Steemit. You need to leave them gagging for more. Some of the best copywriters recommend spending at least 50% of your time on the headline and first line.
7. Be hard on your writing
I mean this in jest. But ask yourself the question "is this my best work?". "Am I proud of this?" Could I make this any better in the time I have? This is the road to amazingness.
8. What life experience have you had?
Get personal. Write about your struggles, your achievements and dreams. The human condition is generally quite fragile and if you share your you'll help others feel they're not alone. Look at Stellabelle's secret writer column. It is cathartic, loving and shines a light on some of the heaviest secrets, shames and taboos in our culture. Share your heart and people will love you for it.
9. Just do it
Write. Edit. Publish.10. Add pictures
Pictures say 1000 words and all that. Scrape google images for something relevant and then put it in your article. It's probably illegal but I don't care. Sue me. Those bastard lawyers are numpties.
Now stop creating content, polyfiller, whatever - and start writing something that has some guts and gusto!