Writing workshop volume 11: Second person point of view in fiction

Okay, let’s do this. For the next 30 days I’m going to post every day for #challenge30days. Each day I will post on one of two related topics:

Educational posts on the mechanics of fiction writing, with tips for improving your techniques.
Short fiction pieces, along with some analysis regarding the techniques at work.

This post is part of my ongoing fiction workshop series. You can see all of the previous segments in this series at the bottom of this post. In the most recent installment, Writing workshop volume 10: Perspective and point of view (POV) in fiction writing, I covered the difference between perspective and point of view in fiction. Then I talked about first person limited point of view, with some examples. I think first person limited is arguably one of the most prevalent POV methods in fiction writing. But of course there are others.

This post is all about second person point of view.

Image credit: Pixabay

What is second person point of view?

I will admit up front that second person feels awkward to me, as a writer. But I have seen some very successful second person stories, and I think they are fun to read. In second person POV, you are talking to "you" (the reader). You walk your reader through the events of the story, as if he/she is the actor in the story. You speak directly to the reader, saying “you do this” and “you see that.”

Evidently there are also second person stories written in the form of commands, such as: "Open the door of the cottage. Walk through each room, searching for the revolver." But I don't recall seeing them.

Examples of second person point of view

Let’s look at some examples. All of these are made up for this post:

You walk into a bar on Canal street. Seated at the far end is an old man, hunkered over his drink, with his hat down over his eyes. You can’t see his face, but you feel like you know him from somewhere.

Interesting, isn’t it? While readers can’t technically experience the events of the story, you tell the story as if they can. Here’s another example:

You cringe as the wasp buzzes past your ear, zooms over your grilled steak and lands on the edge of your cocktail glass. For a moment you imagine accidentally drinking the wasp and you feel sick.

Here, the reader is physically experiencing an anxiety-provoking event and the author is actually telling the reader how he feels about it.

Where I think this POV method can be especially effective is in darker, scarier tales. Let’s try it.

You walk along the dark hallway, tiptoeing gingerly, trying not to make a sound. The Thing is hiding behind one of those doors. You just don’t know which one. You’ve got to get to the other end of the hallway, undetected, so you can run down the stairs and get away. But the one thing you know about this creature is that it has a superhuman sense of hearing. Oh, and it eats flesh. As you come to the third door, you hear it breathing.

How you use this point of view method is completely up to you, but here are a few final thoughts. If you feel stuck with your writing, using this method might be a nice way to shake things up and try something new. You might want to stick with short fiction if you write in second person. I would caution against trying to write a novel using this point of view method, as it would be very difficult to sustain successfully throughout a longer work.

If you’d like to see an example of a full story written in second person, have a look at Gifts - A Very short story by @authorofthings.

Thank you for reading Volume 11 of my fiction workshop series! Whether you are an emerging or experienced fiction writer, I would love to hear from you in the comments.

The previous volumes in this series are:

To your success!

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