I have a trilogy of novels that have been evolving over the years. It’s the first story I wrote, so my craft has grown since then, but I keep going back to it.
FALLING THROUGH THE WEAVING is the first of the World Tree Chronicles, a time-travel sci-fi/fantasy romance with dragons and gods. It’s an epic saga, and I’ve written four full-length novels based on this world and collection of characters, but the first three books aren’t where I want them to be yet.
I think I have a plan to change that.
This is a mockup I designed over a year ago for a possible cover. It will change (a lot), but at least we have a working image for the story until I take the time to make a better one.
I did purchase the stock images for this, just haven’t gotten around to redoing the design. Need to find a different font. Not sure if I’ll keep the woman, choose a different model, or change the image all together. Might need to make her hair darker. She needs to be more badass.
What do you think about people on book covers? Yea or nay?
The muses have awakened.
I’ve had ideas brewing for a radical revision of this book, wanting to make my MC (main character) more edgy, which will involve a massive rewrite. I’m laughing at myself, because I know how much work I’m about to dive into, but I’m looking forward to it anyway.
In order to have something to post about on Steemit and actually get any writing done, I’m going to post my revisions as I write them. In this initial post, I’ll give an example of how the book previously started, and then give you the new beginning I just wrote.
I am open to feedback, writer friends. I might not take every suggestion, but part of this experiment of posting my revisions is my hope for reader input.
Here we have the opening paragraphs of FALLING THROUGH THE WEAVING. Which version do you like better?
The Old Version
I heard them before I saw them. “Orion!” I called the dog with urgency and he came bounding over. We climbed the bank that bordered the dirt road, found a ledge and huddled by a tree. I slipped my fingers beneath his collar. He’d charge the dirt bikes if I didn’t hold him.
Three off-road motorcycles flew around the corner. One rider cranked the throttle, seemingly for the hell of it, and the loud crack made Orion start. I crouched down and stroked him. “It’s okay, boy.”
The first two bikes screamed by, leaving two-stroke exhaust in their wake. Orion sneezed, and I wrinkled my nose. The last rider looked up as he approached. I waved, but didn’t smile. He lifted a hand, letting off the gas as he passed. He cast a glance over his shoulder as he rode away.
We must’ve made a pretty picture, the handsome black lab and his forest mama. But the dog had a wildness to him, with hound mixed into his blood. And me? Well.
The New Version
Chasing trouble might not have been the wisest choice, but it was better than waiting for trouble to find me. Sooner or later it always did, and my restlessness had grown.
Feet keeping time with the music in my head, I marched recklessly through the bush. Ferns swatted at my thighs, and low branches forced me to duck. Decomposing leaves, soft logs, and mossy growth cushioned my stride.
I inhaled the rich scent of coastal rainforest, but it didn’t have its usual peaceful effect. I was getting closer.
My cheeks tingled, the air on the cold side of brisk. Leaves crunched beneath my boots and rustled in the wind. Above, the sky shone the super-saturated blue that marked the golden days of autumn.
Closer still. My chest nearly crackled with energy—a full-body knowing that the tree grew near.
Original writing by Katrina Ariel
What do you think?
If the opening paragraphs of a book don’t hook the reader, the likelihood of that book being read is slim.
I swear I’ve written this beginning fifty times, but I think toughening up my main character is going to make the difference between a story I want to publish and one that collects virtual dust, so here I am writing it again.
Fiction-loving friends, I hope you’re along for the ride. Your suggestions are welcome, and encouragement is always appreciated.
Thanks for reading!
Peace. @katrina-ariel
Author bio: Katrina Ariel is an old-soul rebel, musician, tree-hugging yogini, and mama bear to twins. Author of Yoga for Dragon Riders (non-fiction) and Wild Horse Heart (romance), she's another free-spirit swimming in the ocean of Steemit.
dragon art: Liiga Smilshkalne
Banner by @PegasusPhysics
Banner by @bearone
