The world is gray and days are bleak, and sometimes I just don't feel like doing a thing. Today is one of those days, you know the days that you feel lonely even though you are not alone, the days you feel like you want to be alone, everyone who talks to you, annoys you, too.
I am a little down, but I am going to get up and move on, nothing else to do. In the world of 7 billion people one would think that finding somebody to click with should be easy, but because of the complexity of how our mind works, sometimes it is hard to actually want to have somebody. People are double edged swords, we just barely balance our happiness, and chains of events can offset which side we are going to land on very easily.
It is not that we are easily influence-able, it is about the world we build around us, it is about circumstances that we create for ourselves. I know very well that I am what made myself feel the way I feel. Still, I like to blame the world around me for what mood I am in. It is hard to admit ones flaws and it is harder to admit that we are the only reason for how we feel.
Yes, there are ass-holes in the world that take pleasure in hurting you, but they can only do that if you let them. Yes, there is money that we never seem to have enough, but how we earned not enough coin is our own circumstances created. I admire the people who had nothing and managed to raise higher than others, but for each person like that, there is one that didn't succeed, that didn't try or gave up.
So yeah, I am feeling lonely right now, I want to be alone and in this case it is loneliness by choice. But others don't consciously choose to be lonely. Because of our human complexity we choose to see problems and obstacles where there are none. Well, there are, but they are figments of our imagination. I know, it is hard to find somebody who understands you, God I know how hard that is. But if you are going to be confined in your room, there is not really a chance to find somebody.
And then there is the fact that most people looking are doing it in the wrong place. If you go to a bar, you are going to find drunk people, the ones who love partying and if you are one of those people, that is your crowd, but if you are a person who would rather have a tea and good nights sleep, what are you doing with people who are sometimes sleeping all day?
It is always about us, I didn't understand it for a while. I was looking for somebody in nightclubs and leaving disappointed. I love dancing, I hate alcohol, I just don't like the taste. I love reading, but I never tried libraries for meeting others. I know it is hard and awkward to start conversations, especially for introverts. But one day there is going to be a person who feels like you and one day there might be a real friendship coming out of it.
Not one person succeeded with the first try and only the ones who didn't give up, truly and amazingly reached their dreams.
Have a good, amazing and wonderful day, week and whole life,
Linda