Inspiration, You Ol’ Trickster You…
Inspiration doesn’t come easily for me. Rarely, does it obey my summons and even if it does, it usually just laughs at my soliciting. When I hold out my hand begging for pennies, Inspiration backhands me yelling, “Get a job, son!”
So, yes, I work at it, I’ll sit for hours trying to think of a decent story, trying to force out the world building in my mind, brick-by-blood-streaked-brick. If I’m lucky, I might get a few bricks in place before the real world ever so kindly introduces me to the back of her hand as well. Well, “introduces” is probably not the right word. I’ve known her cranky ass for a while now.
That being said, sometimes, when I look back upon the landscape of my life, I realize that there were a few moments when Inspiration flowed freely without any coercion. Moments that would change my life forever, shaping me into the person I am today.
So, I would like to start a new series of posts that describe a few times when Inspiration came unbidden and left something unknown and magical.
Many of these experiences came to me in the form of dreams.
Now, I’ll be first to say that my imagination is an unruly thing, overactive to say the least. So, feel free to bear that in mind when reading my work. Even I think some of the things she comes up with are pretty far out there…
The Labyrinth of Desire
This one was a three-parter. I had one part every night for three nights in a row, each one a continuation from the previous night. I was a young adult at the time, still trying to find my place and purpose in the world…
Night 1
I don’t remember the immensity of the labyrinth really concerning me. The time I spent there was happy, wandering those exalted stone walls with no knowledge of what might be outside them. Vines and other flora decorated the aged stone. Yet, nothing hindered me and my shopping cart as we glided down the halls. Our only focus: the thousands upon thousands of shelves lining the endless halls.
Everything and anything overflowed from the shelves. Any material interest I could possibly have were strewn everywhere in no particular order. All I had to do was find them.
And I did. I loaded up my cart with books, video games, MTG cards, D&D stuff, figurines, CD’s, etc. Every item found, more precious than the last (especially those rare JRPG SNES games no one could never find in the U.S.)
Occasionally passing others with their own carts reminded me that I had to remain vigilant lest I lose something precious to one of the competition, something that rightfully belonged to me…
And so, I spent the dream collecting, gathering, hoarding…
Eventually, I found myself in the middle of the maze. I couldn’t tell you how I’d arrived, only that I had. A small cylindrical stone platform raised me to a hidden door above. The giant red and gold filigree double door opened with little effort.
As if lit by invisible candlelight, the room had the presence of light but no actual source of it. Empty, the only thing of interest in the room was a huge stone doorway. The kind where a giant stone slab slides up and down. No visible sign of lock or handle.
A creature appeared without warning.
I don’t think I can adequately describe the feeling “she” radiated. I say “she” cause it seemed to give off a feminine impression. But the body of light she possessed was only barely human in shape. I remember her outline the best, since I couldn’t look directly at the molten reddish-gold of her core. Rays of circular light emanated behind her, not wings exactly but the light made one think should could fly if she wanted to. A power blazed there, like a conduit to something greater.
She stood before the great stone door cloaking herself in awe. (I used to wonder why the Bible speaks about people being afraid of angels. Now, not so much.)
“Are you ready for your three questions, David?” While mysterious, her voice held equal parts love and duty. (Think the Southern Oracle in The Neverending Story) I can’t say for sure if her voice was even audible, it just existed.
Dread immediately flooded my awe-struck mind and body. I clutched my cart in fear, knowing I had spent my time in fruitless excursions.
“I don’t think I know the answers, but I will try.”
The questions came and went. There might be some part within me that still remembers exactly what the questions were, but its buried too deep now. I remember nearly everything about the dream, except the questions. I don’t think I’m supposed to remember them for now.
I do remember I got the questions wrong, though.
The stone slab of a door ground open behind the being of light. Beyond, was nothing, not even darkness, for darkness is, at least, something. This was nothing, and it swallowed me, enfolding me into the void.
I was afraid, but fear wasn’t the right word. A better description of the nothingness was separation. I felt apart from everything I ever cared about, apart from love itself.
Waking in a sweat, I remember praying to God that if He were to let me have the dream again, I would make things better.
Night 2
The next night the dream came again. And I remembered. Focusing on finding my way through the maze, I stopped only briefly, to pick up a few items for my cart. The pull of the material world is hard to break free of...
I found the being again at the maze’s center.
“Are you ready for your three questions, David?”
I was! Or at least, I thought so. Yet, a different dread came over me. The one you have when you know you are waking from a beautiful dream. I voiced my concern.
“I’m sorry, I think I still wasted too much time. I feel myself waking up.”
“There is still time.”
And with that, I woke.
Night 3
I could think of little else throughout the waking day, and when sleep finally took me that night, I found myself in the labyrinth again. This time I forced myself directly to the center of the maze; I had given up my shopping cart. The circular platform raised me to the secret room.
“Are you ready for your three questions, David?”
“Yes, I am.”
The questions came and I answered.
I know I got at least one question correctly, for as I answered, the stone door lifted its massive height by one-third. A golden glow billowed forth, flooding the stone room with light and love. I have never felt such adoration or pure purpose in all my years.
“I’m sorry,” I said, “I still didn’t answer all your questions correctly.”
For the first time, the being smiled at me, and I’ll never forget her next words.
“David, there is still time. The door is open wide enough for you to enter, but is it wide enough for everyone else?”
The light enveloped me, and I woke.
I have never had this dream since.
Afterthoughts
I’ll end saying just a couple things, so you can take what you want from the story above.
I had this dream when I was very wrapped up in the desire for material things. Perhaps the lesson there is rather obvious. Sometimes, I know I still fail to resist to fill the shopping cart with frivolous things. I’d like to think, though, that this dream has guided me to pursue other, more worthy pursuits.
God has always been a big part of my life. Not the God of heartless religion, but the God of love, light and freedom. I believe Christ wants a personal relationship with us. A relationship unbridled by legalism, human dogma, or blind faith. It is my hope that this dream brought me a little closer to that relationship. Thank you everyone for taking the time to read this. Cheers!
