(photo by Sarah Rosenberg @icmultitudes)
This week I went through a profound existential crises, which was brought on by an article I read on facebook. The article described some of the ways (about twenty all in all, but that was just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak) that we, the human race along with most of life on Earth is about to go extinct. Possibly very soon.
As soon as the next decade, it said, large parts of the Earth could become completely uninhabitable. They will either be too hot and dry for human survival, or they will be underwater. And then it went on to outline some of the feedback loops that could send climate spiraling out of control. Vast quantities of carbon gasses trapped under rapidly melting artic ice, for example.
I'm not going to relate the whole article to you. I'll post a link to it in the comments section if you are interested in reading some very pessimistic predictions. Suffice to say, it was very convincing and backed up by a lot of scientific evidence. I believed, after reading it, that even if it isn't bound to happen, it's still a very real possibility.
I couldn't work that day. I tried, but I just couldn't see the point.
I went back to my facebook, which was full of photos of a massive Antarctic ice shelf which had just that day broken off and was now drifiting away to sea. Was that a sign? Did it signify the point of no return? That now, no matter what we do, it's just too late to save ourselves and the planet?
I thought about my children. What could I possibly give them or teach them to prepare for the sudden end of a geological period? Realistically, not much. How can you prepare for your own extinction?
I wrote to my friend who had posted the article and told him, 'I feel like the best thing I can do now is take my family to some remote northern hills - to some bunker, stocked up with tinned food, guns and ammunition - and try somehow to survive what's to come.'
He said, 'That's just your first reaction. Give it time.'
He's very wise like that, but I wanted to scream at him 'But there isn't any time!!! It's too late!'
Then he said, 'We literally are the change. Getting everyone upset about this is the first step to generating thousands of resilient solutions.' So we got on with discussing whether or not planting trees everywhere could save us, and if it would be enough, and if it would be possible, and what other ideas were going around...
I tried again to get on with some work. Some friends are building their dream home nearby and they've asked me to build a certain window for it. But doing carpentry is really difficult when your mind is stuck on the imminent extinction of 97% of life on Earth.
There have been five or six great extinctions throughout Earth's history - one of which was caused by an asteroid but the others by natural climate change and changes to the atmospheric composition.
I thought about the dream house this couple were building and how much care, consideration and importance they put on every little detail - how many hopes and dreams, how much time and energy, not to mention money, was invested in this building. I wanted to make the window well - to honor their vision and help them fulfill their dream - even if it was just an illusion and they'd have to abandon the house in the end as refugees, just like everyone else, never to return...
I just couldn't seem to get the corners straight or work out how it would all fit together. It was supposed to be a simple job, but it just seemed impossibly difficult and complicated. My mind was elsewhere. It was too hot, I was too tired. It felt like a waste of precious time.
I wrote to another friend of mine who I don't know very well, but who I know is also quite wise and who was suffering illness last time we spoke. I wanted to check if he was ok. I inquired as to his health and he replied that he's much better. I told him of my existential crises and my anxiety about extinction. He paused for a moment, and then replied:
'Any time
a solar flare
a little stronger than usual
can end life on Earth
in a glimpse.
But I believe there is something deeper than our physical existence.
There is a glory in the Universe beyond the casual fleeting coincidence
When we create something artistically,
we feel eternity in time
and forget about time and death.
Often it's not about the results accomplished,
it's about reaching that state.
As the Zen masters say -
Do the little things to reach perfection.
Do you know that Zen monks practice sweeping every day, as a way to learn patience?
They have pebble gardens where they create sweeping patterns before destroying them later.
Just emptying the mind is sometimes healing.'
I decided to try to work on a guitar instead, although it also seemed somehow pointless as there would ultimately be no one left to play it - or hear it not being played. But I got on with it anyway. It's work I enjoy and I find it therapeutic to create something by hand – especially if it's a guitar.
Then I remembered music, so I put on Aretha Franklin singing gospel songs with a church gospel choir - there's nothing better to lift you up when you're feeling down.
As I worked away, planing the soundboard down to ultimate thickness - which is as thin as it can possibly be without actually exploding under the tension of the strings - my mind became more peaceful, my spirit more joyful. The real threat was still there, and just as real, but a glimmer of hope flickered in the corner of my soul, that maybe, just maybe it's still not too late - and even if it is, I still have this moment.
Later that evening I was back on facebook. Three old friends showed up, writing from various corners of the world. Lenny made a joke. Alex took it further. Ashley said something hilarious. I said something outrageous, or maybe completely random. It was one of those conversations that only a bunch of old friends can have, that you actually do end up laughing out loud and rolling on the floor laughing. There we were - four old friends in far flung corners of the world, laughing together at some crazy conversation that probably sounded like madness to anyone else. It didn't matter.
Moments.
It's for moments like these that we live
when all troubles are forgotten
at least for the moment.
Time is more precious than money.
It's always running out.
So let's spend what time we have wisely.
It may not be too late, yet.
[ @ecotrain Seva ]