Put down the Haterade

These days it's cool to hate on social media. People shit all over Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat - proudly claiming "Oh I never use social media" like it's a good thing.

They claim they don't have time for it, or it's a waste of time, or it's stupid... but what's the real reason?

The real reason people don't use social media is simple: it makes you feel like everyone else's life is more exciting than yours. And that makes you feel bad.

Think about it: people only post things that make them look good. Even if it makes them look bad, like a black eye or something equally as embarrassing, it's still people's version of saying, "Hey look at me, I'm unique!"

That said, I firmly believe that everyone should be active on social media, ESPECIALLY if they're one of the people who claim to hate it.

These are normally the people who are the most socially isolated. The ones who maybe have a few real life friends and no online friends.

I have about 900 Facebook friends, most of them I haven't spoken to in years. A few weeks ago I decided to start messaging 20 of them per day, regardless of how well I knew them and how long it's been since we spoke.

The result was that people were actually happy to hear from me. Not because I'm a cool or interesting person, but because their own lives are so boring that it was a nice surprise to hear from someone who they hadn't spoken to in years.

And that's what you have to understand about literally EVERYONE who isn't a celebrity (and probably even them too).

Everyone's life is boring

Most people spend their day doing the exact same thing: wake up, work, come home and watch TV, eat and sleep. Maybe they go out sometimes, but what's that like a few hours a week max?

Everyone's life seems more interesting when they take pictures and post them on social media.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Let me make it more simple for you: you should post on social media because no matter how boring your life is, everyone else thinks THEIR life is way more boring.

They'll look at what you post and think the following:

"Wow, their life is so exciting. And here I am with my shitty job, in my shitty relationship, in my shitty town hating life. I wish I had their life."

Even if they don't OVERTLY think those things, even if they would never say it out loud or admit it to another person, that is what they are thinking. Even if they don't know it.

So what does this mean?

By posting consistently on social media (and employing a few clever tricks to grow your account) you can become a royal member of society: a celebrity.

Mo money, mo betta problems

You see, there are these things out in the world called "businesses." They will pay celebrities lots of money to pretend like they give a shit about their products and/or services and tell their audience about those things.

These businesses don't even really care why you're famous, they just want to know that OTHER people care enough about you to be interested in your life.

Okay fine, maybe a company that sells dog treats isn't going to pay Paris Hilton a million dollars to talk about their product on Instagram. But you get the idea.

Being a celebrity is the ultimate achievement in life. Fuck all that nonsense about "being a good parent."

Are your standards for achievement really so low that you consider telling your kid to their homework a good thing?

People say shit like that because they're inherently lazy. They don't want to admit that the massive amount of work, schmoozing, talent - and yes, luck - that go into becoming a public figure is something to be proud of because they're afraid.

They're afraid of trying and failing and being laughed at or thought of poorly. They're afraid of trying and succeeding and not being able to enjoy the "simple pleasures" in life like binge watching Game of Thrones for 6 hours.

At least TRY to stop being a loser

I've been a loser for a long time. I'm still a loser. But things are slowly changing. It takes a tremendous amount of time and work to make it happen.

I remember when I left LA last year to go to Australia, I felt sad because I wouldn't be able to play Dota for 6 hours a day. I fucking love that game and I knew that going back to work meant I wouldn't have time or energy for anything BUT work.

Does it matter that 6 hours a day of video games prevented me from spending that time on being productive and working on things that would actually enrich my life?

Like creating content? Like talking with friends? Like making some fucking money?

People love to make excuses for the way they live their lives. I do it too, all the time. Does that make it right? Of course not.

And don't pay any attention to those celebrities who say shit like, "Being famous isn't a big deal. It doesn't change anything."

Sure, there's some truth to that. But it's like super rich people saying shit like, "money doesn't mean anything."

Give me a fucking break.

Of course it does. It means you don't have to worry about paying your bills or what you're going to eat that night. It also means that you're not chained to a shit job that you hate working for some retard of a boss who isn't fit to wipe your ass.

In Hebrew we say, "l'hakol mitraglim," which loosely translated means, "you can get used to anything."

It's usually said about good things. Like I remember having a conversation with an Israeli last year in Australia. He told me he lived in Bondi, a beautiful beach neighborhood and home of the infamous Bondi Beach.

I said to him, "Wow you live in Bondi! That's awesome. You're so lucky. I love it there."

He had this look on his face... I know the look. It's the look of someone who's been working in kiosk sales for too long and has been sucked dry of all his energy.

He goes, "Heh. L'hakol mitraglim."

Anyway, to get back on track, you want to start posting on social media again. Especially if you hate it. I hate it too, and wouldn't have started again if I didn't have experience growing niche pages.

Because yeah, it's cool if you have a 100k page about cats. But brands won't pay you shit for that because they're a dime a dozen.

But a personal page with 100k? That's different.

If you have a personal page with 100k, that means you're an important person. Why doesn't matter. With who doesn't matter.

Who are you? Doesn't matter

You could have 100k Indian/Pakistani followers who just post "show bobs and vagene" all day and brands would trample each other for you to market their shit.

Oh what's that? You don't care about money? You're fine working your shit job or none at all?

Come onnnn... be real with yourself. You just don't want to put in the work. You're just scared of what your friends and family will think of you when they see what you're doing.

Trust me on this: friends and family are the biggest balloon poppers out there. Never tell them your plans.

Any time one of them sees you trying to crawl out of the bucket, they just pull you back in with them and the other crabs. They can't stand the fact that you would try to better your situation, leaving them in the dust.

But more than that, if YOU try to make it and they don't, what does that say about them? That they're incapable?

No, that they're too scared to put in the work because of what other people will think of them.

And acknowledgement of that fear is by far the 100% most painful emotion a human being can experience, which is why it is immediately denied by the subconscious and pushed to the depths of our mind as soon as the thought pops into our head.

Fear of fear creates self-loathing.

"Why didn't I just DO it? Fuck! What a missed opportunity..."

Thoughts like this are so painful that they're immediately followed up with thoughts like:

Oh well, next time.
Fuck it, I didn't really want it anyway.
*Psh, it wasn't even that good. *

Lies, lies, LIES!

Who are you trying to convince, yourself or someone else? Nobody is in your head and knows what you think, so why give them any advantage over you?

Alright... enough ranting.

The point of this is less about using social media. That just happens to be a medium that can reach the most amount of people in the least amount of time.

This is more about showing the world your true colors. Actually, fuck that. Nobody wants to see your true colors.

Just show them your best colors.

Lie if you have to. Make shit up. Make them think that your life is better than theirs.

Because life is a zero sum game. There are winners and losers, predators and prey, royalty and peasants.

There's nothing in between. You can either pick up your balls and put in the work or go watch Game of Thrones.

So what's it gonna be?

What do you think? Have I totally lost it? Do you agree with everything I've said and also think I'm the most handsome and charming person you've ever met?

Let me know in a comment biyaaaaatch.

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Why You Absolutely $100% Must Get Famous On Social Media - Especially If You Can't Stand It