It is our general belief that we are the teachers for our children and our children need to learn everything from us, yes this is correct but I have a little deviation from this thought. I also believe that children can be great teachers for us, it is about us how we would like to view and accept this without any ego. If we look at small children they are always joyful, they never hold any type of grudge or hard feelings for anyone. Even if they have had a fight with their friends, they would not talk with them for just couple of minutes, you will see how fast they get back to their friends and once again go ahead as if nothing happened. Can we as parents and elders do this; I think it's very difficult for us.......
When I look back at my life I desired my parents to be in a certain way which may have made a big difference in my life. I have also observed in today's generation that children have far better IQ than those born 20 to 30 years back. I think with every generation it's getting different with the children. So it's not that parents lack parenting skills but its just about being more adaptive with the change to their needs and showing willingness to change as well as per their needs. Or to put it better Upgrading ourselves.
When we set the right examples for our children to held our worth is when we can become a good parent. Sometime back a lady was talking to me and we were casually talking about our children. She has a 13 year old son. She says he just comes and hugs me tight and I find it very odd. I asked her the reason, so this is what she thinks which leaves me speechless. She says he is now grown up and I don't feel comfortable. Now this is the first barrier she is creating mentally with her child. I feel even if your children grow up to any age why should you feel uncomfortable. This is all the conditioning of the mind that we have received from our elders and we will eventually pass it on to our children. The boy very innocently has come and hug her mother but now the mother talks about all the right and wrong created by the society.
While we are doing everything for our children to equip them to be better personality we also need to keep working on our own selves to be better parents for them so that we can give them the right atmosphere. We can give them our wisdom rather than commands avoiding any kind of dichotomy. I also feel it's very important for a parent or a elder dealing with a child to keep evaluating themselves. When we can assess ourselves without any ego we will be able to understand our child's need better.
Children are very sensitive and over and above everything what they always look for is sensitivity and understanding towards them. Emotional security plays a very important role in a child's life. This goes a long way with them. I know of a girl who was physically abused in childhood, and she did not have support of her mother, rather very insensitively her mother asked her to forget the incident and move on. It's more then 30 years to that but she has not been able to forget that her mother did not support her.
Emotions are a major part of us, if our emotions are not harnessed in the right manner then they can destroy us too and children are anyways sensitive so it's very important to give them the emotional security.
Between me and my husband we always have arguments when it comes to our son, cause I am extra sensitive and emotional about him, which also to an extent I realize is not right. Though I have been lucky that my son has never taken wrong advantage of this. Like a typical Indian I have been brought up with a lot of conditioning of right and wrong but I thank my Son, he has truly been a great teacher for me and broken up a lot of my myths. I always believed in conventional education and he had some very unconventional ways. It took me a long time to break my shell, though I understand but still as a parent it was not easy to accept, though now I have come to acceptance and this is not just to balance things between us but I have an understanding.
Honestly I never believed that Children can teach us unless I started learning from my Son.
While we adults are always in the fast track, children do have the ability to pause and look at things carefully, they make far better teachers of micro-masteries than adults. They give a detailed eye and find out their own ways.
I personally feel in today's age and time we can make great parents if we collaborate with out children and allow them to blossom in their own space by giving them a helping hand and being for them not only with our physical presence but also staying connected with them emotionally and mentally.
With Love and Angels Blessings 💖💖👼🏻👼🏻🧚♀
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