Sometimes I am a dark storm who can wrap anyone and everyone under her wings.
I am fierce. I am strong and I don’t stop at any cost. I am ferocious. I am fearless and I don’t care who comes in my way, I just keep going on. Come what may, I don’t stop. I know I can conquer the world, surpass any obstacle that comes my way and be whoever I want to be.
But sometimes I am not so ferocious. I am timid and scared.
I don’t feel so strong. I don’t feel I can conquer the world. I don’t feel powerful. I am weak. I am withdrawn and I just don’t trust myself anymore. I take steps cautiously and even while being cautious, I feel scared from within. I think too much. I feel too much. I worry too much. But I don’t say a lot. I keep absorbing emotions around me, but do not express mine. Sometimes I am just not ready to face the world and even let people overpower me. But that’s not how I am always.
There are times when I am confident. When I know what I want and I get what I want.
I move with strength and I strive for everything I ever want to be. I am tenacious. I am courageous. And I persevere till I reach my destination. I know I can do it and I prove myself right. That’s just me- confident and strong. But then again there are times when I am not that confident.
There are times when I know what I want, but don’t take action right away.
Times when I keep waiting for the iron to get hot so I can strike it, but somehow end up not striking it at all. Times when I am neither scared nor weak, but just don’t what to do with life. Times when I am not in high spirits, but not dismayed either. Times when I just don’t think too much and let life be. I keep going with the flow and just don’t protest to anything that’s happening around me probably because I don’t want to take action myself. I don’t feel weak, but I don’t feel powerful either. I just let things be and just not do what I want, but it doesn’t hurt either. That’s how I feel like being.
And then there are times when I am at peace and happy from within.
Times when I feel like flying and do fly too because my soul is free from within. My soul flies and so do I so I fly to places far and wide. I am liberated and excited, and I let everyone know how happy I am. I jump and dance around. I giggle and laugh for no reason at all. I do things I want to. I paint. I draw. I sing. I play. I smile. I just shine because I have embraced the light. As happy as I feel at times, sometimes I am not just that happy.
Sometimes I am depressed and disappointed.
I feel gloomy and in pain. My soul aches and so does my heart. There is pain everywhere- inside and around me. And no matter how hard I try, I just cannot escape it. It keeps flowing inside me and I keep allowing it to penetrate me deeper. The deeper it goes, the more I cry. The more I cry, the more I feel at peace, but even when I do feel at peace, I keep drawing more pain within to ache more. I just want to feel pain and I keep bringing more inside me. I am aware of what I am doing, but I do not stop. I know how it will pierce me from within and I want that. It feels insane, but just so right. It does not feel right, but I keep doing it any way. But this does not last for long too.
There comes a time when I am happy, focused, calm, confident, cautious, a little nervous but strong.
I feel scared at times, but I overcome my fears quickly too. I cry, but I don’t let the pain grow bigger than that I can control. I feel hurt, but I look past the regrets quickly. I feel happy, but I don’t just keep celebrating my happiness for long and know when it’s time to act. I take strong strides and I know what is right for me and I act with caution and grace.
But then comes a time when I am just vicious.
I forget about others at times and just think about myself. I don’t care who gets hurt. I just know what I want and I don’t bother about anyone. What I want I get and I know I can go to any lengths for that, but haven’t done exactly that ever because compassion takes over me.
With all these shades of my personality, sometimes I just don’t know who I am. Am I courageous or weak? Am I happy or sad? Am I confident or lack confidence? Or am I all of them? Who am I really?
This time, I just went with the flow and wrote whatever I felt like writing. Some parts have been fictionalized a bit, but most of them are my thoughts that I experience and endure. Do share your thoughts on the piece.
Love and light,
Sharoon.
If you enjoyed this, you may also like the following articles I have written:
One Smile and a Deep Breath to Quickly Fight Stress
Why I am Grateful for My Hardships...
29 comments
If you like inspirational content and people, do consider being a part of the @ecotrain.
