My mom says that at certain moments in life, God overrides our mental circuitry with an image so strong that it interrupts our thinking and gets us moving. For James, that image was of the real pastor Todd, comatose on the floor of a prison chapel. Now, James' only chance of redeeming himself was back at that church, digging through costumes, and they needed him.
“Be right there” he said.
By that evening, the entire prop and costume selection of River Oaks Community church had been sorted and assigned. James decided to go for something eat, before rehearsal, and when he got back at seven, his actors were waiting for him.
Scratch that, they were there, but in his absence, most of them had come up with other ways to occupy their time. Most of them were harmless. Two redheaded boys were reenacting a duel from Pirates of the Caribbean, across the top of the chancel rail, using shepherd's staves as swords.
“Hey, You! Tell me their names again.” James said to Lexie who had met him at his car and followed him into the sanctuary.
“The big one is Jimmy, the little one is Mikey and my dad says he told you they...”
“That's all I need for now, Lexie.” James said, stuffing a chocolate chip cookie into her mouth. “Jimmy, Mike!” the boys stopped and turned to look at him, “Cut it out! I thought I made you wise men, so you wouldn't have these.” James said, collecting the two staves and helping the boys off of the railing.
Jimmy squinted at James, “Yeah, you did, but stupid over there said we could never be wise men and told us we had to trade.” Stupid turned out to be Travis McCoy, a boy about ten years old.
Mikey added, “Yeah said we couldn't be trusted with baby Jesus' Christmas presents!”
Travis, who had led two Bible quiz teams to championship status sneered, “I'm the stupid one? They were birthday gifts! Christmas wasn't even invented yet! Besides, you proved you couldn't be trusted when you tried to pawn the gold last year.”
From his elbow, Lexie's little voice narrated, “That is Travis. He's the fastest boy at our grade in school and some of the girls think he's hot, but not me. My mom says I'm not allowed to say...”
James put a hand on her shoulder, “Thank you
Lexie.”
Jimmy walked up to Travis, “How did I know you guys were so cheap you used fake gold?”
Travis looked up at James, “Can you believe this guy?” then back at Jimmy, “That's why they're called PROPS Ape Face!”
“Actually,” Lexie was reading from Directing for Dummies, “props is short for personal properties, and according to this, not all of them are fake. In fact, their list of common props has more real items than fake and...”
James closed the book and took it from the girl, “Thank you Lexie. You should probably go help with costumes for a minute.”
Being a new kid, I was pretty good at noticing when a guy was sizing me up for a fight, which happened at almost every school I moved into. The key was in stopping it before it happened and Travis and Jimmy looked like they were about to throw down.
James grabbed one boy in each hand by their shirt collars and hustled them out the door, down the hall and onto the concrete porch at the front of the church before things got out of hand.
His voice dropped to a growling whisper, “We can be friends, or I can be your worst nightmare, do you get me? Now, I want you guys to go home and cool down. Be sure you are ready to work together before you come back to rehearsal, you got me?”
The two boys shrugged James' hands off their shoulders and started away in opposite directions, glaring back at each other over their shoulders, “Oh, and hey, Flannigan, I am not blind!” James said, “If I see you picking the lock on the offering box again? I am calling the cops, do we understand each other?”
Jimmy rushed back to the porch, chin up, he pressed his chest up against James and glared up at him defiantly, “You don't know who you're messing with preacher man, but you are about to find out! This isn't over, nobody threatens a Flannigan in this town and gets away with it!
Sleep well, pastor! This is not over! You too, Travis!”
Travis sneered bravely, “Shoot! You think I'm afraid of you Flannigan, whenever you're ready, Flannigan!”
James Casey could only take so much before he started falling back on his old habits, as soon as rehearsal was over, he determined to get a little something to ease his stress. Tomorrow would look a lot better through the bottom of a beer bottle, maybe more than one.
The rest of rehearsal had gone without incident, and James made a beeline for his car and straight to the Rexall for a sleep mask, some earplugs and some liquid refreshment.
Rexall had a well-stocked beer cooler and James quickly found his favorite brand. He opened the door and was reaching for the handle when he heard a familiar voice, “Yoohoo, Pastor Todd?” It was Thelma, “I thought that was you, what on earth happened to you? You look just awful!”
James smiled, patiently, just get through this and then I can get what I came for and get out of here, he thought, “Oh, just rehearsal. I'm a little tired.”
Thelma eyeballed the beer cooler, “So, what did you come in for? I can probably tell you where to find it. I practically live here.”
James sighed, it was obvious she wasn't going away any time soon. “Oh, nothing much...actually, do you know if they sell earplugs? Oh, and one of those sleeping masks?”
Thelma smiled, “Of course they do. You know what else works wonders, is warm milk. A lot of people believe that is just an old wives’ tale, but it actually works. I like to put in a little vanilla, and then...”
It was just as this scene was playing out that we rolled into town in the U-Haul truck, right past Mr. James Casey. As James got instructions on how to prepare for his first full night's sleep in a week. I would be unloading moving cartons in the rain. It turned out that I got a little rest that night when two dozen college age volunteers showed up to help unload our truck, while James, on the other hand, was about to get introduced to Oklahoma night life, redneck style.
James allowed Thelma to steer his shopping cart around the drug store for another thirty minutes, loading up on things she thought would be helpful. Finally, he gave up, paid for his purchases and left without his liquor.
After a hot shower, James put a cup of milk in the microwave, which Thelma had warned against, and punched 1 minute into the keypad, “I would kill for a shot of whiskey to go with this right about now” he said to himself, right before he sucked enough scalding hot milk into his throat to vapor lock himself. He choked, put his head under the kitchen sink, and sucked cold water straight out of the faucet.
Dang, that's why she said not to do that, well, live and learn. It was probably best he did not show up hung over for his first meeting with Pastor Roland anyway, but a blistered tongue wasn't great either. James stumbled off to bed, remembering to install the earplugs and pulling the sleep mask on with a contented smile, finally, a full night's sleep.
Their father's last words rang in their ears as the two Flannigan brothers jimmied the lock on the front door of the parsonage, “Screw this up, and don't bother coming home!” the older
Flannigan had warned. Tommy finally got the door to open and two brothers looked at each other, pulled their black ski masks tighter over their faces and walked into the house on tiptoe.
They snuck down the hall and into James room, one on each side of the bed. Shawn snapped on the lamp next to the bed and snarled, “Wake up, preacher man!” as he loomed over the bed, with an upraised Louisville slugger cocked and ready for action. Tommy laughed his best evil villain laugh, meanwhile, James lay motionless in the bed, “I said wake up!” Shawn repeated, Tommy laughed again.
“I don't think he's breathing.” Tommy said.
“Maybe he's already dead?” Shawn replied, rolling his mask up to get a better look.
“Crap! Do you think we scared him to death?” Tommy was nervous now.
Shawn took the shade off the light to shed more light on their subject, “Na, I doubt it, remember how much we used to scare Grampa, and he had a bad heart.”
“Maybe he can't hear you?” Tommy peered at James closely.
“I SAID WAKE UP!!” Shawn yelled.
Tommy poked at one of James' ears, “No, I mean I think he's wearing ear plugs.”
“I'll be, he sure is, wearing a mask too.” Shawn added.
Tommy scratched his head, “Maybe we should shake him?”
Shawn pulled his mask back down, cocked the bat and nodded to Tommy, “Go ahead.”
Tommy shook James by the shoulder, “Hey, wake up, preacher man!”