Marketing guy opened his eyes. Dark spooky scary clouds hung overhead. Colonel sat next to him eating from a can of beans. The skin from his face was hanging loosely. As the wind blew and Colonel's face skin flapped, Marketing guy was sure he could see what looked like a Troll's face underneath.
"How am I still alive?" Marketing guy questioned.
The last thing he remembered was Bernie's car before he crashed into the bottom of the cliff. The license plate said "OG" and it had a dice in the mirror.
"I patched you up with some spinach. You know that spinach can be used in tissue regeneration and organ building?" Colonel explained.
He then went on to explain how he had survived the fall and regenerated himself. After regenetrating and using his survival knowledge he dragged Marketing guy's bodies following the river until they reached the spinach patch where they both currently were.
The surrounding area was farmland. Steem and spinach grew out of the ground, in the distance were the cotton fields for "the Fabric" and down the river was the @steemfactory. Marketing guy could hear a large commotion using his Ben Affleck's Daredevil super hearing. An angry mob of Steemians appeared, all holding pitchforks, shaking them furiously.
"Be careful, that Hardfork has got 'em all riled up" Colonel said as he readied his pistol just incase.
"They took our Steems!" the Steemians said as they shook their hardforks.
"Hey! Let's be positive about this! We're still in Beta! And did you upvote this really funny comic?" one positive Steemian pleaded.
A hardfork went right through the positive Steemian's stomach as he was lanced into the air like a rag doll.
"Don't make any sudden movements" Colonel warned.
The Steemians began slowly chanting "Steem Steem Steem" as they marched forward raising their hardforks.
"I've had enough of this shit" Marketing guy exlaimed as he grabbed the M16 from Colonel's back, and began firing, screaming furiously while blowing every man, woman, and child to hell.
"My job is done. My planet needs me" Colonel said as he flew off into the air.
He wasn't actually flying, but utilising gravity. He jumped into the air, and then jumped against his boots. He would continue to jump against his boot while in the air, effectively double jumping forever. He was overmastering gravity.
Heading downriver back to sea, after checking in on the price channel upstream, some pirates appeared. They told Marketing guy about this really funny comic.
A passing Steemian said "Yeah! Such a funny comic. Dayum! So funny I upvoted and resteemed it. The end?"
Ned ejected the floppy disk, ending the simulation.
The handsome young intern said "I also upvoted and resteemed that really funny comic!"
The end?
@RiskDebonair
Irish Writer, Poet, & Lover