An American 'Vegemite' Review

by @jeffjagoe
Inspired by @dylansmith

@dylansmith's Vegemite Protocol: @dylansmith/5-tips-to-make-vegemite-toast-from-an-aussie

Recently I convinced @dylansmith to join STEEM. Here's an introduction I made for him. He wrote a step-by-step guide to making Vegemite toast. Where I come from, Vegemite is unheard of... unless you're listening to the Men at Work. I always thought it looked and sounded disgusting but @dylansmith convinced me to give it a try. He claimed it was a mood fixer, hangover cure and all-around lovable super-food. With this advice, I had to give it a go.

The Bread

@dylansmith says the bread is important. I found the best white bread I could get from The Vermont Bread Company. It should hold together when I spread the Vegemite tar...

Toast it up!

I got toasty with it. Not too dark. Not too light... Just about right.

Butter it up!

I spread a good amount of butter, but I may have failed to get it to the edges as @dylansmith insisted. Regardless, it was ready for some Vegemite.

VEGEMITE!

I felt like a criminal when I was doing this. I have a perfect piece of buttered toast in front of me and I'm about to squeeze a big ol' glob of Vegemite onto it. I could be putting some delicious jam, or some scrambled eggs or even some fresh ground cinnamon... but no, instead I'm squeezing out yeast extract. Sorry @dylansmith, but I was never feeling good about this one...

All About Balance!

The Vegemite master says it's all about the balance. I think I found a solid balance between the Vegemite and butter. I spread it around good and got ready for the experience of a lifetime...

It's Munch Time..

The Verdict: DISGUSTING

I don't know what they're thinking Down Under but I thought this tasted like shitty soy sauce mixed with the last sips of a beer that has been sitting out in the sun for a few days. Do they even have peanut butter in Australia? Do we need to increase our exports down there? Why would you put such a thing on a delicious piece of buttered toast? I don't understand... I don't think I will ever be using the rest of this tube, unless I can find a recipe to use it as an additive (and even then I am skeptical). It has been 8 hours since I tried the Vegemite and writing this gives me a disgusting taste in my mouth.

It's not the first time an Australian convinced me to try one of their food products via STEEM. @mattclarke bought me some Crumpets a few months back. You can check out that post in the link below. Let's just say Crumpets were HEAPS better than this Vegemite stuff...

An American Crumpet Review

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Thanks For Reading!