This is my response to @sagescrub's challenge:
@sagescrub/freedom-challenge-2-what-is-holding-you-back-from-feeling-more-free-sbd-to-3-winners
In my old life, the answer's to this question would have been something along the lines of:
-Fear ( fear of failing, fear of trying something different, changing, the unknown.)
-Ego (what will others think of my crazy way of doing things)
-Limiting beliefs (I'm not strong enough, smart enough, important enough, powerful enough)
At this particular phase in my life however, the biggest things holding me back from feeling more free would be the immeasurable responsibility of full time Mother, and Wife. Please do not get me wrong, I chose this life, and I love my family more than words can express but I will present some points that I hope anyone can glean some insight from, and I welcome the wisdom and experiences of others who have been in my situation.
For those of you who have never experienced the life-changing miracle that is parenthood, let me explain. Before having children, you are free to do with your time whatever you please. You take time for granted, you squander your free time. You may be wasting your life at a job you hate to make money, to buy things you don't need. Maybe you are lucky enough to be living your dream, and fulfilling all of your goals, if that is the case I applaude you 👏
Before having children I was a wanderer. I worked long enough to make a bit of cash to go on my next adventure. I went surfing in Tofino, I swam at a spring fed lake and fished in Northern BC during my summers. I went to the East coast of Canada to tour around with friends and train horses. I traveled to the Bahamas. I planted gardens and lived off only what I grew, hunted, or gathered. Ecclesiastes 1:8 "All things are full of labour; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing."
I loved life, and was overall content, but i was alone. I felt lonely and, like all young people, was looking for love.
Ecclesiastes 4:9 "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labour. 10: for if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. "
Enter the next chapter of my life. I am the 4th of 6 children. Coming from a big family I have always wanted kids, and a family of my own. I was the youngest for 7 years so I got the qualities of youngest child (care-free, happy go lucky, outgoing). At the age of 7 I was blessed with a younger brother, and another brother when I was 9. So I've got some middle child qualities as well, and had some experience with child-rearing.
Going from wanderer with no responsibilities, to the other extreme, mother with all responsibility and limited freedom, has been one of the hardest transitions I've ever made. I know that kids grow fast and this phase of my life will not last forever. Being a parent has shown me the strength I have within that otherwise may have gone unnoticed. It has forced me to live entirely for 3 other people, to put others before myself. Parenting has given me an appreciation for time, and freedom, that I have never experienced before. I will never squander time again, as long as I live. Every free moment is relished, enjoyed to the fullest.
I now have 2 new people in my life that I would die for, unbreakable bonds that will last a lifetime, I hope. People I can share the joys, accomplishments, as well as tragedies, and hardships of life. Popular magazines will portray kids as a financial burden, they stress all the liabilities of children, but I would contend that I have never been more well off, financially, emotionally, spiritually.
In closing, I hope that anyone planning to have children isn't discouraged by my musings. Yes, kids take all of your time. I have married friends who are "waiting for the time to be right" let me tell you, there is nothing convenient about having kids, they interrupt every area of your life. However parenting is the most rewarding, worthwhile thing you can do in my opinion.
"Whatsoever thy hand find to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom in the grave, whither thou goest" -Ecclesiastes 9:10.
Never let any vain limiting beliefs hold you back from what you are meant to do, our time here is short, use it wisely!
Ecclesiastes is my favourite book of the bible, I encourage everyone to read it's wise proverbs!
This picture is worth a thousand words, tired, crazy, worn out (my kids hate cameras hence no good family picture yet..)
