Lola’s jittery hands clung to the warm coffee cup sitting in her lap. One breath in, one breath out.
Her panic attacks were coming more regularly now, but they only worried her mother.
One breath in, one breath out.
Her chest was tightening, her heartbeat pounded in her ears, her eyes filled to the brim with the tears she couldn’t let fall.
One breath in , one breath out.
“Lola! I’m back! I couldn’t remember what brand we had decided on for a baby monitor, so I just went with the most expensive. Ha!” her mother called from the garage doorway. “Oh, and Dr. Morrison’s office called to confirm your appointment Thursday at 9:00. I can’t believe you’re already 20 weeks along!”
One breath in, one breath out.
“Lola, honey, are you in there? I thought I heard the T.V on…” her mother stepped around the corner to peer into the living room.
“I’m here, Mom” Lola responded quietly through tears.
Gloria inhaled deeply and walked slowly to the couch, worry lines etched deeply into her youthful face.
“Is it bad this time?” she asked gently, reaching to take Lola’s hand.
“I wish the pounding would stop” Lola whispered. “I need to breath.”
Gloria took the mug and placed it onto the table, then gently pulled Lola’s shoulders closer so head could rest on her lap. She stroked her head softly and started to sing.
“Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so…”
Lola sobbed softly into her mother’s knees, then harder until all that was left was the dry shuddering of her chest.
“I know none of this is okay,” Gloria began. “I wish I could change…” she paused. “I wish he was here too.”
Thank you so much for reading! If you would like to start from the beginning to see a fuller picture, I've linked all the parts below!
