Invisible starfall (freewrite Julia #5)

Only your eyes are unclosed [..]
And you alone can hear the
invisible starfall

She'd hear his feet soft as fog as she slept. Or rather, as she tried to go to sleep. It wasn't so much that Julia was a chronic insomniac, but that lately she'd been plagued by these strange, violent visions that did not allow her peace. Every time she closed her eyes, no matter how late in the night or how tired she was, she would hear screams and see so much pain that she could not sleep.
So, she lay in bed and listened for the sounds that would calm her, but they refused to come. What did come was the sound of his steps above her, so high, and all alone in the attic. She felt closer to him, knowing that they were both awake at this impossible hour together. Almost together.
She kept thinking about that day in the coffee shop, how he'd told her jokes and how she'd laughed, how delighted she'd been at almost everything this stranger said. And Steven seemed to have all the right words, all the funny thoughts. He'd make her laugh and everyone in the cafe would look at her, startled, and then, she'd remember herself.
'Keep your voice down, girl,' her mother would hiss through clenched teeth and Julia would retreat to her shell.
It was the strangest spectacle, Steven thought. This girl, this woman was not what he'd thought. There was a wonderful, vivacious thing hiding behind gray walls, and he wasn't so sure she was as pristine as he'd thought. Which only made him want her more.

And sometimes – this was Julia's favorite memory of the day – she'd tell him jokes and she'd find herself faltering midway through and then, she'd look up at him and find her words in his eyes, it was the strangest thing. And she made him laugh, just like he mad her.
They found nothing in common, except a mutual dislike for the neighbor across the street, Mrs Patterson. And Julia felt a pang of guilt at admitting this, for they always went to church together. It was safer that way. And it didn't feel quite right speaking of the old woman that way, even if she was always cold and judgmental. And at the same time, it felt so marvelously free, like being drunk.
And then, they'd walked together to the house and when they were about a street away, Steven had slipped his hand into hers and squeezed.
Julia bit her lip at the memory of it,of such horrible indiscretion. What would her mother say? And lying awake, listening to Steven's quiet steps, Julia feels an overwhelming sense of shame run over her, so so familiar, like she can't breathe and she bites her lip harder and begins to weep. She is a sinner and she must repent, now, before it's too late. Before she burns into the eternal fire.
Although she's done nothing more than hold his hand...
She's done enough, as her mother would say, she's done enough.