Mindfulness May (Fitness & Emotional Health Challenge)

I read this post: Fitness Challenge Motivation Monday by @coachjj and that, along with the Ashley Black Fasciablaster "heartbutt" challenge that I'm doing And my intermittent fasting group challenge of being more mindful... I'm just feeling really inspired and thinking that all the signs are pointing to me getting my shit together and shaking things up this month!!! :)

For this month, I'm going to focus instead on mindfulness INSTEAD. On NOT watching the numbers like a hawk (other than the fasting/feasting hours) and instead I'm going to pay attention to how I feel. I am going to track the numbers at the beginning of the month and again at the end of the month.

To be clear, I don't feel like I am giving up on anything, but more that I have done the same thing for a year now and it's time for me to grow and change my routine and my habits. I want to delve more into the emotional side of things and the physical fitness side of things now that I feel like I have a handle on the food side of things. This is just a short term change in my routine to hopefully help me figure out where I want to go next with my goals!

Measurements:

Here are my before photos and measurements. I've been tracking these things pretty consistently for a year, along with weighing daily and counting calories.

After tracking calories religiously for a year, I have a pretty good idea as to what my daily calorie limit allows. I don't need to track every single thing. After my year end melt down, I think it would be VERY healthy for me to reset mentally and emotionally and take those numbers out of the equation and give my mental health some extra attention. Instead of weighing daily and counting calories, I'm going to eat what makes me feel good and I'm going to do intermittent fasting as a way to keep my calories pretty much where they need to be.

I've made GREAT progress over the last year and now it's time to work on my goals from a different angle.

Emotional Stuff:

Right now, I'm feeling pretty uncomfortable. I'm not feeling "fat" or whatever, but after the two week bingeing/feeling horrible emotionally and dealing with the perimenopausal emotional trainwreck, I have just been feeling out of control in so many ways.

My relationship with my husband is a struggle lately. He's dealing with depression as well and just... well, that's an entirely new post, but it has really affected my emotional self and my ability to stay focused on other things. We've been together for 24 years and it's just been really hard lately.

This "Mindfulness Challenge" has come at the perfect time. I need to refocus and find my mojo, my reason and my clarity again. I'm a bit nervous about not weighing myself daily... more than a little bit, but I think it is something that I NEED to do. I need to learn to trust myself and taking this one month to do that seems healthy.

TRACKING GOALS:

Intermittent Fasting (minimum 16:8, aiming for 18:6 daily. One or two 36 hour+ fasts this month if it feels right.
Heartbutt challenge (fasciablasting 2-3x weekly, glute workouts specifically 2-3 times a week)
Exercise 5 Days a week (Gym, Home workouts, Yoga, heartbutt exercises)
Journaling through the mental/emotional process (daily notes, blogging on the topic once a week)

The Why

My Why seems to be evolving as I go. At first I wanted to lose weight, because I was sick of being fat and feeling uncomfortable in my skin. Now I've accomplished that and I want to start working on my fitness. Honestly, I'm not sure of the "why" and thus my issues with sticking with any program. I can't seem to wrap my brain around the next step now that I've lost a good portion of the weight I wanted to lose. I want to be stronger, I want to be fitter physically... but honestly? My emotional health is currently taking such a beating that I am having trouble focusing on physical fitness except maybe as an escape from dealing with emotional stuff. I guess maybe that is my WHY for now? And I think that's perfectly okay.

Intentions:

I am going to journal, even just a few sentences each day. I want to track how the day went for me, fitness, food and fasting wise. I will take notes about the hard days and the easy days as well as probably typing up some of the emotional stuff. I'm sure I'll be working through some of these things on my Wednesday posts as well as my "Therapy Thursday" posts.

I've made some pages for my bullet journal specifically for May to track the few things I want to keep in mind and I'll be journaling online and on my blog.

You can see some of my other "Weightloss Wednesday Posts here: