Is loneliness increasing in our society?

image1 (2).jpeg

Introduction

Us human beings have a predisposition to feel alone from time to time, whatever our life may be, whether we are introverted or extroverted. This is so because we are social animals, and it is very easy that at a given moment we suffer from discomfort because we can not connect with anyone as much as we would like. It is completely normal and it happens to everyone.

However, the feeling of loneliness can manifesting itself in people simply because of changes in the way individuals interact with each others, and that is precisely what is happening in recent decades, because despite having more social tools than never before in the form of countless websites and apps to meet and engage with new people, these tools might be posing serious problems to its users when it comes to finding faithful and real friendships.

"It's possible that young adults who initially felt socially isolated turned to social media. Or it could be that their increased use of social media somehow led to feeling isolated from the real world." | Source

Having too much loneliness can cause us issues

The downside of paying too much attention to the number of friends and followers gained in FB, Instagram, Twitter and now Steem of course, is that it is very easy to slowly but surely stop paying attention to the quality of these relationships in real life. People might get too absorbed by their numbers in online profiles, that the importance of engaging in person might start to vanish.

Keep in mind that the criticisms that are often made about smartphones and social networks as guilty of this are probably incomplete. They may contribute to make up this problem of lack of contact between people, but they are not necessarily their root. In fact, possibly what is happening has to do with the development of some personality traits, and not so much with our new habits of digital consumption.

This way of thinking that isolates us more from the rest and makes us much more prone towards loneliness is probably related to a self centered attitude when it comes to the image they project into the web, and fundamentally, the idea that we must stand out from the others. The reason for this is that it makes us enter into a logic according to which personal relationships are simply an instrument to achieve a “higher” goal.

A lack of close friends and a dearth of broader social contact generally bring the emotional discomfort or distress known as loneliness. It begins with an awareness of a deficiency of relationships. | Source

A short example of this idea

Let’s imagine a person whose main goal is to gain a position of power to stand out from the crowd.

Advertising ads sell you ideals of beauty that you can use to distinguish yourself from the rest. Different services invite you constantly with the concept of exclusivity, whose meaning is basically that few people can access it, as if that spoke about the value of their product (and by extension of your value as a consumer of this). The business training plans talk about the importance as a team, but ultimately what they sell is the need to be your own boss and go on perfecting yourself and overcoming obstacles (whatever they may be) to make a good future for you. And the dominant message on the Internet aimed especially at young people, is that the important thing is to be visible, to be someone relevant and have eyes on you.

Now ask yourself if with that mental plan you would not mix a good part of your personal and informal relationships with that project of accumulation of power. A project that, on the other hand, does not have the goal of creating good living conditions, but having the ability to control one's own life to prevent damage from the outside. If we are self centered, even the goal we set is part of that same mentality.

So why are we getting lonelier? Changes in modern society are considered to be the cause. We live in nuclear family units, often living large distances away from our extended family and friends, and our growing reliance on social technology rather than face to face interaction is thought to be making us feel more isolated. | Source

All these aspects can lead us to the same conclusion, consisting in the fact that life can be an exciting place in the future, but right now in this present moment what you have to experience is a cautious loneliness. No one watches over anyone nor there are bonds of solidarity because everyone tries to squeeze their life from the resources to which they have access. Faced with this situation of constant tension, the construction of authentic friendships is something that does not make sense.

Final thoughts

Of course, not everyone is like this and think like this, but that does not stop us from getting infected with this way of thinking when it comes to developing lifestyle habits. The simple fact of living in a world in which this way of thinking is very public if you look closely can make people imitate its patterns.

What we can do to combat the seemingly increasing of loneliness is to lift that veil of appearances and reject the imposition of a self centered mentality when it comes to social interactions, doing this with solidarity and in a collective way. In order to accomplish this, a good option is to show our own weakness and aspects on which we are vulnerable to others, even though this might sound a little bit uncomfortable for some.

...those who have been lonely for a number of years will have anxiety about making new friends, they may be distrustful of others and feel low about their own social skills. They need support to change their view of themselves, and how they feel others will react to them. | Source

Proving that we really believe in an idea of life based on bonds of friendship and mutual support, may be difficult at the beginning since all small personal and collective changes in life perspectives are difficult, but the result of this can be very sweet as we see how, little by little, others begin to look at each others beyond the illusion of distrust.