When I wrote my Happy New Year post, I felt a strong sense of helplessness. A feeling each morning that I didn't want to get out of bed - that I couldn't face the day ahead. I didn't say it quite like that, but it was definitely what I was feeling.
It's been suggested to me to go and see a doctor, but what can they do? I don't want pills and the problems that I think that I have in my life are here. They're permanent. Unless I decide to do something unimaginably drastic.
There's only one person who can solve the problems in my mind, and that's me.
I know this... I've always known this. I'm the holder of my own happiness but when you're so exhausted and surrounded by a constant barrage of noise and stress, it's hard to find the head room to do anything about it.
Last night, perhaps somewhat randomly, I watched "The Diary Of A CEO YouTube channel" and a video entitled "The Savings Expert: “Do Not Buy A House!” Do THIS Instead! - Morgan Housel". It's a video that keeps popping up as a recommendation but definitely NOT the kind of clickbait that gets my attention. But I watched it anyway... all 2 hours of it.
It's unfortunate that they gave the video such a shitty title and caption because in my mind, it's not what the video's about at all. Instead, my key takeaway was "perspective". An encouragement to think about your perspective on life and that of those around you. There's nothing new in it... there's no great revelation that I didn't already know but something within those 2 hours got me thinking... back to the way I thought 5 or 6 years ago, when I had time to think.
Even now though, my thoughts still lack clarity.
I'm not in full-time employment because I don't want to be in full-time employment. I'm in the kind of situation many would dream about in that regard. Which begs the question - what is the main advantage of not being employed? Why don't I want to be in full-time employment?
Freedom. Time. And the ability to decide what to do with it. And herein lies my problem. I was fortunate enough to have a choice about employment and I made that choice based upon an expected outcome. An outcome which has forsaken me since becoming a parent - a feeling that my life is no longer my own.
One of the examples of happiness that was given was to consider the life of a CEO and how they spend their days... their diary packed with meeting after meeting... even their life isn't really their own as they strive to succeed more... earn more... money which they'll never be able to spend and if they do, it's on things that they don't need.
The overarching lesson from all of this... understand what I need. What's enough? At this moment in my life, my focus should be upon my time. What do I need from my time? And my answer is simple... some time to do something that I want to do. Something that makes me feel like I'm still being productive with my life and not simply treading water.
How much of this makes sense? Probably not all of it, my thinking still lacks clarity but those 2 hours watching the video I shared above, have provided me with many more hours of thought - a starting point back to happiness - which is exactly what Morgan Housel wanted.
the-gorilla's Alternative Steemit Interface
In case you didn't know, I've created an interface to help you find content that you're interested in more easily.
Posts by voting bot users, abusers and spam tags are hidden and you can search by multiple tags - allowing you to find the content that you're interested in more easily.
👉 Launch Alternative Steemit Interface 👈
the-gorilla's Club Status Tool
I've also created a tool to help users review their club status - showing them where their power's coming from, how much they're powering up, transferring out and who they share a wallet with amongst other things.
Please use it wisely.
👉 Launch Club Status Tool 👈
