Here's my entry to the playwright competition run by @jochi here.
Alf is an older man. He's sheltering from the wind behind a large Christmas tree in the centre of an industrial shopping complex. The shops are closing. He looks at his phone, groans, puts it back in his tuxedo. Gets it out. Looks at it again. Rolls his eyes. He's about to leave when he sees Boy approach. Boy is wearing a fancy dress costume; it looks dishevelled.
ALF: Where the hell have you been?
BOY: What's up with your face?
ALF: What's up with my face? Do you know how long I've been waiting? I'm freezing my bollocks off here.
BOY: Sorry mate. Got sidelined. This girl. Wow. You should've seen her. Gorgeous!
ALF: You're winding me up.
Boy is trying to suppress a smile.
ALF: You remember why we're here, right?
BOY: What?
ALF: Stop playing. Just give me the merch.
BOY: Ah.
ALF: No. Tell me you got the merch.
BOY: See mate. It's like this see--
ALF: The only thing I want to see is the merch. You better have the fucking merch. He's already driving me crazy every five minutes asking about it. You know what he's like. He can't wait.
BOY: I know but it's like this--
ALF: You haven't got it, have you!
BOY: Hey! You didn't have to go in there. It was hell. It was--
ALF: I can't believe this.
Alf paces while Boy's attention wanders off.
BOY: She was cute. With a capital K. She was having a few drinks around the back with her workm--
ALF: Are you wearing lipstick?
Boy wipes his lips with the back of his hand.
BOY: No. Well, maybe. I mean, sort of.
Alf paces back and forth, fists bunched.
ALF: Shit. We are so fucked. No. You are! I'm not taking any of the rap for this. I can't believe it. You knew this was important. How could you fuck this up?
BOY: It was scary in there. I could have been injured. There were so many of them, grasping, grabbing, clawing. Brutal.
ALF: Brutal?
BOY: Yeah, crowds. You know I hate crowds. I get nervous. So, I decided to hang back for a bit. Then that cute girl said--
ALF: Knew it! I should've done it myself. Oh my god. This was our last chance. Look! It's over. Everywhere is shut. He'll absolutely fucking freak. I promised him. We promised him.
BOY: We can just get it after Christmas. January sales.
ALF: …
BOY: Come on. It'll be cheaper. Besides, it's just a gadget. He's got loads of them.
Alf notices something coming up behind Boy. A dark look crosses his face.
ALF: Uh oh!
BOY: What?
ALF: Here comes Batman. And you can be the one to tell him you've just ruined his Christmas surprise.
Batman jogs towards them, happy and excited. Jazz hands.
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