Trigger warning. I was in a horrible multi vehicle accident five days ago. My emotions are raw and this is a true account as I have and still are experiencing. I have changed the names of those involved, there were a number of different accidents in the same tunnel every day since.
The first part can be found here.
Movement catches my eye from the semi's behind my Jeep. People are squeezing between jagged metal heaps that used to resemble 18 wheelers. They move carefully so as not to be snagged or sliced, their movement and eyes deliberate. They ask if we need help. They were clean.
Other people began to appear, moving unnaturally slow through the wreckage. Blood smeared with oil and other vehicular fluids. You could clearly tell the victims in the accident from those who had been able to successfully stop further back on the highway. The victims all had the same wide eyed look of disbelief and numb shock and moved strangely slow.
The connection to my in-car 911 assist had been lost when the semi hit me, and cells did not work in the tunnel, but the 911 operator had known the tunnel, so I assumed the authorities were on the way. We were almost completely boxed in- numerous commercial vehicles were piled in a jumbled mess behind, and the semi that had jackknifed behind our Jeeps was now a jagged heap of gaping metal in front of us, blocking the front tunnel exit.
The lady who helped me out of my Jeep told me her name was Amanda and that she was the only one in her Jeep- she had escaped out her back window. I was in shock that she did not have a mark.
She explained that a semi truck in front of her had swerved a bit and she figured it was black ice so she had hit her brakes and then lost control on the ice, hit the wall, then ended up sideways in the tunnel. Knowing me and the other truck had been not far behind her and were now coming at her passenger side, she tried to hit the gas but apparently had stalled her engine in her collision with the wall. She said I did a really good job maneuvering the ice and trying to slide by her up until the very end as there just wasn't enough room.
She said she had always thought she would die in a car accident. She said she figured this was it. I still did not entirely believe she was not a ghost.
I walked around my Jeep as much as I could. She was ripped apart and crunched; leaking fluids like lifeblood. Amandas Jeep was tangled in mine, her front wheel wrapped under and around my rear wheel, the axels interlaced like lovers hands. I could not comprehend how it was possible that our Jeeps had gotten tangled how they did.
Amanda and I marveled at the fact that we were standing and (seemingly) injury free as we stood side by side staring at our vehicles.
We both agreed out loud that this is the very reason we had chosen Jeep.
Little did we know that we would soon be able to feel the injuries inside our bodies.
Standing there in that tunnel, covered in an art deco array of blood, gas and oil, I never could have guessed my insides were as twisted as the vehicles surrounding me. And if you were to tell me how titanic the pain would be when my body woke from shock and adrenaline I would have figured you as an accident victim with a head injury.
I wanted to go to an exit. I needed to get out of that tunnel. I considered both entrances. I could see sunlight from both, but they felt so far away even though they are mere seconds when driving.
I did not know what to do. I felt so helpless and lost. Where was the help? An older gentleman had worked his way through the tunnel, asking everyone if we were alright, explaining those outside the tunnel had dialed 911 and they were on the way. Others were helping the Jackknifed semi driver out of his jagged cab. He was bleeding and mumbling. Someone was wrapping his hand with their shirt.
Everyone was wide eyed and moved strangely.
I wandered. I stood. I was without thought and filled with too much at the same time. There was nowhere to go. I wanted to escape. To go back in time and not ever have been on this highway. I willed my mind to wake up, this had to be a bad dream.
What do you do in this situation? Nobody teaches you these things. It was hard to think but at the same time too many thoughts were racing. And I wasn't entirely sure we were truly alive.
It was freezing. Under 20 degrees in the tunnel. I was wearing my comfy Toms canvas shoes I like to drive in, but they and my jeans were soaked with all the fluids that were seeping from all the vehicles. I noticed my fingers were pained and looked at them. They were pale and sickly looking. I pulled a blanket from the open window of my Jeep and offered another to Amanda. I was grateful I had thought to bring them.
I suddenly realized my vehicle was still running. I had a thought of fire danger and scrambled onto her hood and reached in the window to push the OFF button. Nothing. I shimmied in further and tried to put her in PARK, but the gear shift wouldn't budge.
I knew she was done. There would be no fixing her. She was in bad shape. I pulled my bags and the few things I could out and set them on the concrete. I realized my glasses had flown from my head. I couldn't spot those. Movement caught my attention and I noticed Amanda was doing the same with her belongings.
The road was a mess of clothes, water bottles, pieces of plastic and metal, papers, and all kinds of things, all mixed in the fluids from the vehicles.
I realized tears were streaming freely down my face.
As they would do for no reason and every reason for the next couple of days.
Finally, after what seemed like 45 minutes, I heard sirens. Strangely, it was not comforting. It was simply surreal. The whole thing felt blurry and hazy. Like a dream. The colors were distorted and the feelings were sharp but wrong. But the sirens did do a little to help me realize that we were truly alive and not just displaced souls.
A tall bald Highway Patrol Officer with dark shades appeared, jogging through the carnage. He stopped at every vehicle and quickly surveyed it, talking briefly with anyone he encountered. He jogged over to us and asked if we were ok. He had us each point to our vehicle, and tell him if there was anyone else inside. Then maneuvered forward.
More officers, Department of Transportation workers, and First Responders- firemen and EMT's- appeared. Each one asking if we were injured. Someone took a brief account from each of us, telling us they would need more later.
I had to call my loved ones. The need was so strong. I told an Officer I was going to walk just outside of the tunnel to use my phone. "That's fine," he said. Then called after me, "wait! Just..." He jogged over to me. "Well, I was going to tell you not to go anywhere, but I guess there's nowhere to go! Go on sweetie."
The drive to speak to my loved ones was so intense I tried to hurry. But my body felt as if it weighed a thousand pounds. And my lungs weren't working- my breathing was forced and terribly difficult, like I was doing the most strenuous activity possible. But I was only just walking slightly on the faster side.
I called my loved ones. I was desperate when they wouldn't answer fast, almost panicking. Didn't they know the importance? Of course not. But the mind does strange things. Relief washed over me after each successful phone call. I wanted them to know I was alright as much as I needed to hear their voices.
I had wanted to be out of the tunnel so fiercely. But after my calls I felt a strong urge to be with my Jeep. I felt like I was abandoning her, after she had done such an amazing job saving my life.
I didn't know what to do, and I had noone else to call, so I made my way back.
A DOT worker in a reflective green vest appeared before me. "You need to get warm. Walk between those two semis and get in the red truck right behind that one," he pointed. I blinked. My mind was slow in catching up to what he was trying to tell me. He led me toward his dually and helped me up into the passenger seat, turned the heat to high, then shut the door.
Right beside the dually were six or eight firemen cutting into what used to be a small white car. It looked as if what I had imagined the jackknifed semi was going to do our Jeeps- basically slice the tops off. I watched them pull a small body on a board out. The leg was dangling strangely. I averted my eyes, not wanting to see the rest. But they flicked back to see a dangerously distorted face covered in blood. My stomach twisted and I turned around in my seat to face forward.
She was air lifted to a large hospital. I found out through locals that she has a number of broken bones and a hole in her spleen. She is fighting, and has a long road of recovery, and is a resident of that town.
Two officers opened my door and asked me to tell them what happened. I saw another officer putting Amanda into the back of his patrol car with a clipboard. Then they handed me a clipboard and asked if I would write what they just told me if I felt ok.
I filled in my name, birthday, date and address. Then I struggled with my phone number.
I have had this number for a long time. I know it well. It is also my work number as I am a freelance writer, plus given the fact that I am a mom to three boys I give my number several times a week.
I could not remember my own phone number.
I made up different number combinations in my head trying to trigger my memory. I finally gave up and wrote the account of what had happened. Strangely, I could remember the different colors of the cabs of the trucks that I had watched coming at me in my rearview, but I couldn't remember my own phone number?
Finally I remembered it and wrote it on the accident sheet. But I did the exact same thing a half hour later when I had to fill out another similar paper- I forgot my phone number.
Frank, the DOT worker who placed me in his truck got in and asked us if we had anyone coming for us. My people were all very far away so I figured I would get a rental from my insurance, the truck driver was hoping to hitch a ride with a fellow trucker to Sacramento and wanted to get to a truck stop, and Amandas parents were on their way from Reno. Frank explained that after the three semis and three passenger vehicles that were involved in the wreck were hauled out of the tunnel, he would drive us to a hotel casino in Elko where we would be dropped off to call our insurance agencies, wait for our people, and otherwise figure out what to do. There were lots of amenities, food, and hotel rooms just in case we had to spend the night. We had no other ideas so we agreed.
To be continued...
Little did I know that driving so soon after an accident would send me into a prolonged state of panic, the healing comfort of the amazing residents of Elko, the physically terrifying effects of PTSD that gave me a concussion many hours after the accident, and more tomorrow as I continue the account of one of the worst things I've ever experienced.
Also, I learned a few tips on how to help ease the effects of PTSD post car accident I'd like to share.
Thank you so much for your support and love. You guys are truly amazing. I am so honored to be part of this amazing Steemit community. I could never have imagined an online community could actually help a person heal, but then again the people of Steemit are truly one of a kind :)
Great bigs hugs to you my friends <3 Thank you for being you.
I truly appreciate you guys, more than you know. And I am so very thankful I am here with you today.
Hold your loved ones tight tonight <3
Images via Pexels
What if the last person on Earth was the one you hated most? Dead i. A Steemit Original Fiction Series. Episode 3 is out now!
In case you missed the beginning, you can catch up by clicking the following links: Episode 1 Prologue and Episode 2
Thank you for your support, I love you guys ♡
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