A Crazy Trick to Write Difficult Things That Really works!

Don't write about it in order to be able to write about it ;)

Sounds a bit like I'm pulling your chain, aye? Well, if you are having a problem writing about difficult events, don't.

Instead, write about what didn't happen.

Sometimes a traumatic event will cause blockages in your mind. It's a perfectly natural self-protective mechanism. Some people relive it over and over as the body's way of numbing you by repetition, and other times the body chooses to slide it in the back of your mind's darkest closet to essentially ignore so as not to have to feel the pain by thinking about the event.

As a trauma writing coach, I help people who have been through hardship heal through writing. I have survived a kidnapping and attempted murder, one son's finger amputation (and successful reattachment,) another son being run over by a car and attacked by three vicious dogs (thankfully not in the same year,) two other physical attacks on my self... I have been dealt a few other unbecoming cards in my life, but these have been the most difficult.

I have found healing through writing. I find that writing about the traumatic event is very therapeutic, even if I am writing just for me knowing that no one else will ever see it, it is medicinal and curative to not only the healing process but to my job as a writer, too. My loved ones noticed this and I gently helped them deal with difficult things through writing, and it progressed from there. Healing by writing about it really works.

But what if you can't write about it?

What if you are suffering from a blockage, and your psyche is refusing to distribute the words onto the paper?

If you find yourself struggling with writing about the traumatic event, stop trying. Hey, it may for a good reason. Instead, write about what didn't happen.

This creates distance; between the now you and the then you, and between you and the trauma.

My beautiful star sister @shawnamawna is the culprit- she started this whole thing! I have been having trouble writing about a traumatic event for a number of weeks now. I was originally inspired to write about this particular matter in my column at the website she edits relationshipblogger.com. It involves a handful of government officials, so yes, it is a touchy subject. And one that could get them (and me) in trouble, so of course there is the "tread lightly" element, but that is not the reason I am facing difficulties telling the story publicly. My psyche is simply snagged because it was pretty scary.

@shawnamawna suggested I try writing about what did not happen to create distance. She gave me a couple other recommendations: writing the account from second or third person, and removing yourself from the event and adding later when it feels right.

But talk about feel right- her first suggestion of writien what didn't happen resonated hard, and actually called to me. And guess what? The words are flowing like honey from an ADHD beehive.

Writing as therapy for life's sorrows works on a very deep level. If you are struggling with it, be kind to yourself. You went through something painful and documenting it on paper is not easy. Give yourself the gift of patience and compassion. You deserve it, after all :)

Write to heal. Because it is your right to heal <3