Yes, that's my sweet ass tattoo I got last year.

No, I didn't get it as a gift for my mom.

It just happened that my appointment fell on her birthday itself.

I also only got it when I was 30, an age I felt was late to the party considering a lot of my friends have been inked for years already.

This tattoo is my liberation. This is my story.

Do you feel that?

Do you feel that weird, little naggy feeling deep inside you that you're being held back in life?

I felt it.

My parents were pretty strict on me as I was growing up since I was a kid.

I wasn't allowed to take up martial arts because they felt it was dangerous. I felt so denied.

I also wasn't allowed to take up gymnastics, the only sport I expressed interest in in my life. My parents were afraid I'd break my neck or something.

Heck, they even slapped me in front in public as a kid when I misbehaved like a little brat.

Teachers were also strict as hell back in school.

I am from Singapore. As with Asian academic standards, things were pretty scary back then.

As far as I remember, I only did my homework because I didn't want to get scolded. I only studied for exams because I didn't want to upset my parents.

No, there were no scary teachers who were actually inspiring figures with hearts of golds. I seriously feared getting scolded by them and being humiliated in class for getting crap grades or scores.

I ask again, did you or do you ever feel that motherfucking NAGGING feeling deep inside of you that has been holding you back major?

I did.

On some level, I grew up as a timid, little boy into an angry dude with issues.

Right into the middle of my twenties, I honestly developed this "Why the fuck should I obey? Why should I do the right thing? It'd only always result in me going home feeling pissed off" mentality.

I was tired. Really tired.

Doing the right thing certainly didn't feel right anymore. 

Now, perhaps this would sound kind of out of place, but I have to say that I came from a good place and lead a very blessed life.

My parents did their best and raised me well. I love them. Heck, my dad died of ALS when I was 20 and I vow to take care of my mom all the way since.

I also studied hard all the way and graduated from college.

I am grateful. I've a lot of things going on in my life and I can't really imagine it otherwise. 

Yet, I couldn't help but feel like something was really missing, that something was still holding me back.

I felt like I didn't go through my 'rebel phase' in life, like I missed out.

I didn't like that I was 30 and still trying to please others and taking steps to make sure they don't get unhappy, all the while sacrificing my own happiness.

I didn't like being that guy who still sought permission from everyone just so I could do something risky.

I didn't like that I wasn't my own man.

I was AMAZED that as I grew up, I reconnected with friends who were pretty much troublemakers in our younger days and they all turned out fine!

And grateful? I am grateful, but I am also pissed off and unfulfilled. What's up with that?

So... boom.

I did it.

Total amount of time used to contemplate getting the tattoo: Like, a week. 

I knew I would procrastinate if I tried to seek permission or validation again. 

I saw the design I liked. I couldn't get my mind off it. I woke up the next day. Thought, "Fuck it." And texted my friend to book the appointment.

Done.

I rebelled. Finally. After 30 years. I was liberated.

Oh, I wasn't that much of a hard ass to my mom though. I preempted her once. I said to her one day in her room, "Mom, I am getting a tattoo. I hope you'd respect me for it."

She asked if it was going to be big or if it had anything to do with religious or gang symbols. 

I said no. And that was that. No arguments whatsoever. 

And it all felt fucking awesome.

I think that many of us hold back in life. 

Certainly, it's good that you're staying out of trouble and making your loved ones happy, but to what extent do you draw the line, if there is indeed one?

How long before you finally realize you're pleasing others only and not yourself?

How tired do you want to be before you faint from the exhaustion of trying to not offend others?

How alone do you need to be before you discover you're actually capable on your own?

How long do you want to wait before you start to give a shit about yourself?

Are you living for yourself? Or living for others?

Whatever it is you answer, I tell you this: You deserve a gift.

You can rebel, a little.

You're allowed to please yourself. 

And you're fully capable of doing it yourself, on your own, your own way.

Life is too short to only always follow the rules.

Whatever it is you really feel like doing, even if it displeases others, just do it. 

It honestly wouldn't be that bad. 

Thanks for reading. Here's my tattoo in all its Bboying glory, if you can spot it haha. Taken literally a few hours ago:

Tiny P.S. Please do not actively hurt others especially if it's going to result in a huge mess okay? Just had to say it...