If there's one thing I want my girls to know about their early days with us, it's how much I treasure those first two weeks I had with them. Even though I missed my husband very much, it was wonderful spending time with our daughters.
They were so tiny!
If you're wondering why my husband was away or how we got the twins, here are links to my previous posts:
- Surprise, we have twins! The story behind why I fell off the face of Planet Steemit...
- Babies Can Be Victims Of Human Trafficking Too
- Bringing Home The Twins
Life changes
Something I'll hold off telling our girls until they're older is how drastically our lives changed. I never want them to think they were a problem or an inconvenience. Perhaps, when they're parents of their own little ones, they'll be able to understand.
But in retrospect, the hardest challenges we faced had very little to do with them.
Some of the people in our lives couldn't understand our decision. And I try to see it from their point of view. All of a sudden, Matt and Helen had two babies without any warning or time for preparation. A few friends dropped out of sight while others just took a step back to see what would happen.
But in the meantime, wonderful people came into our lives who offered support and encouragement. While Matt was gone, hardly a day went by that I didn't have at least one visitor. Friends brought baby things - cots, clothes, bottles, playmats - to this day we've had to buy very few things for the girls.
Others helped me take the girls to their doctor's appointments, which were weekly at the beginning.
Initially, I'd been instructed to feed the girls every 5 hours. But at their first appointment, our neo-natal doctor increased the feedings to every 3 hours. That was a challenge.
Taking care of twins
I read all the blogs I could find to get the best tips on feeding, changing and bathing twins. "Do everything at the same time" was the advice I read over and over. It would help keep them on the same schedule ... in theory.
So, if a friend happened to stop by during feeding time, we would feed the twins together. Otherwise, I learned how to double-feed the girls. Usually, that meant one on a lap pillow with the other on an elevated newborn cot next to me.
It would take about 45 minutes to finish a feeding. Then they would sleep, and I'd lay them down. After that, I had just enough time to wash bottles, unpack a bag, or start a load of laundry before they'd wake up and need to be changed. And then it was time for another bottle!
At night, I was up every three hours too. A few kind souls told me I should nap during the day when the girls napped ... believe me, I wanted to! But there was always something that needed to be done. Putting it off (which I did a few times) just meant disaster later on.
A week in, and you can imagine the lack of sleep was wearing on me. A few times I caught myself about to shake a bottle without the nipple on it. Or about to change the baby who'd just been changed. Once I was so tired, I let a glass water bottle slip out of my hand!
Scheduling
While feeding them at the same time helped keep track of bottles, I found that it wasn't a guarantee the girls would stay on the same schedule. In fact, one was generally the early bird and the other the night owl. But that turned out to be a good thing. It meant I got some one-on-one time with each of my daughters.
The hardest part was when I couldn't tend to both at the same time. I'd alternate who had to wait ... if both had dirty diapers, I could only change them one at a time. (And let me just say that an infant isn't really able to appreciate your explanation of why they have to wait a few minutes longer to get what they need.)
No matter how much I read, it couldn't replace what it was like to actually do all those things alone. I learned a lot about taking care of twins through trial and error. The most important thing was learning about them and trying to anticipate their needs. Of course, they were also learning about me! I can only imagine how different everything must have felt for them after two months in the hospital.
Helping hands
I'm so grateful to the people who stepped in to help during those first few weeks. Even after Matt came back, they brought over meals (sometimes I was too busy to remember to eat) and some even washed my floors and bathrooms! Another friend stayed overnight while Matt was gone just so I could get some sleep.
Because I didn't give birth to them, it took awhile to register that I was physically tied-down. I hadn't gone through labor, so why I shouldn't I be able to do everything the same? For instance, a friend had to point out that it was okay to ask our condo security to send up visitors instead of going down to the lobby to get them ... I had infants now! I also couldn't just pop out to grab something ... not only was it challenging to get around with twins, but as preemies, we really had to watch their health.
Even though our lives were turned upside-down, the whole adjustment was much easier with friends who were willing to navigate those changes with us.
Time together
Those first two weeks are a blur, but looking back, the thing I remember most is how much bonding time I had with the girls. I sang songs to them, talked to them, and held them on my lap. Just being able to whisper, "I love you, my daughters" filled my heart. We experienced sadness together too, but that will have to wait for the next post ... when our two weeks were up and Daddy finally came home!