Most social events after 5pm involve alcohol of some sort. As a fully fledged adult, I feel like I’m offered alcohol at every turn, at every event I attend. Free wine, free beer, free cocktails, drink specials, shot flights at parties, you name it!
I like alcohol, but I don’t love it.
When I was younger I definitely had my fun, and have my stories, but as I’ve grown older it’s become less and less appealing. It might be that when I turned 27 I started getting hangovers even if I didn’t drink much and remembered to have a few glasses of water before bed. It might be that in the last few years I have become someone who likes to get up in the morning and go hiking or adventuring--feeling less than top notch and well rested isn’t fun. It also might be that I don’t like how easy it is to drink just a little bit too much at an event where you would rather be sharp and on your game. Overall, my reasons to drink have steadily declined.
Last December I had a bit too much wine at a friends house while baking Christmas cookies.
The next day I felt awful. It didn’t help that the previous night I had also cried and gotten sad and emotional in the midst of being tipsy. I had a serious reckoning with myself: what exactly was I getting out of drinking and why did I continue to do something I didn’t even enjoy that much?
I decided to quit drinking over the holidays just to see if I could.
I evaded Christmas drinks, New Years drinks, and January humdrums drinks. And then I kept going. Before I knew it, it had been 2 months since I’d had a drink--which I realized while out one night with some friends barhopping. I could have had a drink then, but instead I ordered a ginger ale and discovered that with a beverage in hand, that I could re-order regularly, I completely eliminated the awkwardness of being the only one without something to drink.
Flash foward to today, and it’s been over 4 months since I stopped drinking.
I’m not intentionally making the decision to not drink again ever. It’s just that I haven’t felt the need, or the desire to do so in months. When I do drink I love dry hard cider, there is no better beverage. However, even now with some amazing sample ciders courtesy of a tour at Seattle Cider Co. in my fridge I just don’t feel the urge to drink. I will if I do, but I haven’t.
I made a pact with myself when I first started drinking: never drink in order to feel the confidence to do something that I wouldn’t do sober.
I’ve done some crazy things while under the influence, but I’ve never drank to get up my courage to do something. Similarly, I don’t drink when I’m sad or to get through something. I’ve never used alcohol, except in a recreational sense.
Most of the time when folks stop drinking there is a reason. I don’t have one. It just feels natural.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t have my guilty pleasures. I have always enjoyed smoking weed--as a Type A artist with occasional anxiety, marijuana has helped me out in a lot of ways. In college when I was working 2 jobs, stage managing a show, and taking 27 credits (yes, I know, what was I thinking?), I sometimes think that smoking a bowl was the only thing that allowed my brain to relax enough at night for me to fall asleep and get a good night’s rest. While everyone has a different experience, marijuana actually helps me function, relax, and have fun. Alcohol slows me down.
I also have a family history of alcoholism that I have to constantly monitor.
I grew up knowing that my Mom lost her little sister when she was 21 to alcoholism. For a variety of reasons, my aunt wasn’t able to find peace in this world except through liquor and she lost herself to the substance. My Dad also has struggled with substance abuse and gave up drinking when I was 4 to make a better life for our family (I am so proud of him for that--he’s never had a drop sense, even on a special occasion). I have always known it would break my family’s heart if I were to develop a substance abuse issue, and I’ve also always known that I’m genetically predisposed to do so.
There really is no point to this article, perhaps I should have said that up front. ;)
I don’t plan on “quitting” drinking entirely, but I’m really surprised at how easily I’ve given it up. I don’t notice its absence, and I don’t feel a need or desire to go have a beer. Just tonight I was at an event with some lovely free drink options and I found myself ordering ginger ale because I wanted it more than liquor. I guess I’m saying that it’s been extremely liberating to remove myself from alcohol--I’ve found that not only does life go on without a drink in my hand--it’s actually totally awesome and I still have a lot of fun.
Why do you think so many of our social interactions are fueled by drinking? What is the balance you have found between sobriety and fun? Would love to know your thoughts!
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