Setting shadows with despair
The mind creeps away
Memories leave then repair
Never long to stay
History flows out of me
Happenstances that don’t happen
Mingling of deceptions be
A fog I am trapped in
Basic traits become blank
Reduced to a child-like state
Surely a cruel prank
Time loses me of late
It comes and goes
With no set rhythm
I barely remember my foes
Let alone loved ones with precision
Scary is not the word used here
Fear is now a way of life
Not ready to skid into the steer
Thankfully hasn’t pulled memory of my wife
Fighting the need for a new home
I don’t want to go there
Keep me with you, not alone
I need this life we share
Will I forget you?
How soon will life part before it all?
Just know I love you
Even if I forget it all
This Poem is dedicated to my Grandma who is losing her husband, my Grandpa to this disease.
This poem was spurred by a contest I read about and it reminding me of something I had seen on a social media site that was reminding me of a previous day many years ago.
This is the picture that spurred the memory.
I added the arrow in so you could see who I am referring to. That was a bit of a younger time for me and that is my Grandpa in the background. It came up as a memory in my feed and it made me think if that was one of the last pictures I had of him before all this started. However, I remembered that it wasn't. Although I didn't see my Grandparents that much or grab many pictures, I had taken another. It was about 2 1/2 years ago when we were visiting Canada, as we have been living all over the U.S. and a part of Europe since about 5 years ago. We had gone back for a visit and I wanted to see my Grandparents. So, with my husband and daughter in tow, we went to see them. It was a very nice visit and everything was great. I remember specifically at the time taking a picture of the two of them as well as with my daughter in the picture so that I would have some more memories for her, and for me.
This memory that popped up spurred me to look for it. I searched on my devices, my icloud backups, my dropbox backups, and nothing. I have only one more place that I can check later but I fear that I may not have it. I hope I do, but even so, that picture. That one picture that right now I cannot get my hands on, is the last one. Just about 6 months or so after that visit, it all started to happen. It happened fast and quick. He is suffering from Alzheimer's & Dementia, and currently, medicine is at least helping things stay where they are and not worse too much. I will admit I have not returned to visit yet. It takes a lot to happen for us to make those trips and it's not always a priority. But, I do talk to my Grandmother over email at least bi-weekly most times (can be more but I often forget to email back as I get so involved with things).
For some reason, I felt like writing this. I know she is going through a hard time, I know she feels alone, I know she has had to and continues to make so many sacrifices, and I know she has been losing her own vitality because of this all. It is hard to be told by Doctors that the man that you are married to, the husband that you have been with for so so long, is in most terms no longer the man you married, due to this illness. My Grandfather has been on a list to get put into a home for over a year and a half almost at this point, otherwise, he lives at home with my Grandmother who essentially takes care of him.
So, this is my memory. This is something I have shared but don't often talk about. My largest fear is that this whole situation will take her away sooner than it should've because of the stress, which is just not fair. She deserves to be happy, they both do. This whole thing is just ruining it all.
Anyways, I thought I would share this. I hope you enjoyed my poem and some information on me.
Let's hope things like this can go away one day, that we can find a cure so it stops tearing people away.
Do you know anyone who suffers from either of these illnesses?
Feel free to share anything you wish
As usual, Stay Awesome Steemians!
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Check out some more of my recent posts
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